Zerosophy Archives - Page 59 of 96

The danger in believing “Happiness is a choice.”

August 14, 2015 by Zero Dean

“Happiness is a choice” and “Just BE happy” is a message being spread so much and so often on social media these days that it creates the impression that if you are anything but happy, there is something wrong with you.

And that’s not true.

True happiness involves more than the simple decision to act happy or think positively.

No matter how happy one may act, pretending to be happy doesn’t equal happiness. Habitually convincing yourself that you’re happy when you’re not is potentially dangerous — and here’s why:

When a person who is not happy convinces themselves that they are, they remove the incentive needed to make the changes that are necessary to put them on a path to being genuinely happy.

This only serves to perpetuate the problem because pretending to be happy doesn’t rid a person of any underlying dissatisfaction in their life — it simply covers it up.

It’s far more productive to be unhappy and honest with one’s self than it is to cover up the symptoms of unhappiness by pretending they don’t exist.

It is from pretending to be happy that people often fool themselves into settling for careers or relationships that do little more than cause them to drift further from the things that they truly care about.

And the further one drifts from the things that bring them genuine joy, the further they drift from the most potent sources of happiness that exist for them.

I’ve said it before, it’s not happiness that’s a choice, it’s attitude.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to recognize and be grateful for what they already have.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to consider mistakes to be nothing more than learning experiences.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to consider strangers to be nothing more than friends they haven’t met yet.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to see the world as a playground instead of a cage.

And it is a healthy attitude that allows a person to survive a negative experience in a positive way no matter how challenging it may be.

A healthy attitude is what allows a person to see the value in all life experiences, not just the “good” ones.

The simple decision to be happy isn’t as much of a precursor to happiness as a healthy attitude is. A healthy attitude is what allows one to truly appreciate the journey of life regardless of one’s circumstances.

The more one learns to enjoy & appreciate not just the highlights of one’s life, but the complete journey, the more often happiness arrives as a result of that enjoyment.

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Dear people who boast about how successful they are…

August 13, 2015 by Zero Dean

Dear people who boast about how successful or wealthy they are or how awesome their life is,

Your insecurity is showing.

“It is always the secure who are humble.” — G K Chesterton

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(Timing of) results may vary

August 12, 2015 by Zero Dean

I remember sitting in my car, wallowing in self-doubt a few years ago, and wondering if anything I was doing was making any kind of difference.

Because if it was, I couldn’t see it.

I felt so small. Invisible, even.

I contemplated giving up. Withdrawing and disappearing.

Because if I was doing everything I was capable — at the time — of doing (and I felt — and still feel — like I was), and it still wasn’t yielding results, then what was the point of doing anything at all?

And just now I received an email from someone who stated that something I wrote back then played an integral part in a fork in their life.

In short, it changed their life. Changed. Their. Life.

And seriously, the contrast of knowing what I was feeling back then and reading this email now makes my eyes water.

So please understand a lesson that’s taken me a fair amount of time to learn, just because you may feel invisible at times doesn’t mean you aren’t being seen.

It may just be that acknowledgment of whatever positive contribution you are making to the world may take a while to get back to you.

They say that all goals should be measurable, but sometimes we try looking for results too soon — and because we don’t see them, we give up thinking we haven’t gotten any.

I’m here to say again that not everything of value can be measured.

Don’t give up on something you really want to do just because you don’t see immediate results.

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Integrity, you can’t buy that shit.

August 12, 2015 by Zero Dean

Integrity, you can’t buy that shit.

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Integrity

You don’t have to be smart to be wise.

August 10, 2015 by Zero Dean

Just because someone isn’t considered to be a “smart” person doesn’t mean they can’t excel in life. Some people are quick thinkers, others are slow.

It isn’t necessarily the sharpest tool in the shed that makes the biggest difference, it’s how one chooses to use it.

Being smart means very little if you don’t use your resources wisely.

You don’t have to be smart to be wise.

“Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” — Steve Jobs

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Self-discipline is a key to many doors

August 10, 2015 by Zero Dean

Excerpt from: The strength in tolerance and kindness

Self-discipline is a key to many doors. Not least of which is one that leads to a better, stronger, and healthier version of yourself.

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If no one is surprised when you act like an assclown…

August 8, 2015 by Zero Dean

If no one is surprised when you act like an assclown, then perhaps that’s a sign you act like an assclown a bit too much.

___

Assclown: (American slang) Jerk, douchebag, asshat, asshole, Donald Trump…

Urban Dictionary: One, who, through the fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society’s collective underwear.

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Dealing with disapproval

August 7, 2015 by Zero Dean

If you spend your time being the best person that you can be, there’s no need to concern yourself with those who may disapprove of how you live your life.

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Friends and enemies

August 3, 2015 by Zero Dean

Working through a problem with a 3rd party is one thing. Speaking badly about another person simply because you don’t like them is something else entirely.

If you wouldn’t say it to the person you’re speaking about, then perhaps it’s not the sort of thing you should be saying to someone else in their absence.

And if you’re not the kind of person who would stick up for a friend being spoken poorly of when they’re not present, then perhaps it’s time to consider what it means to be a friend.

Real friends may give each other shit — and often do — but they also don’t let others speak poorly of their friends in their absence.

Having integrity means sticking up for what you believe in even when it isn’t easy. And sometimes this means refusing to take part in conversations aimed at putting people down.

Learn to let people make up their own minds about others without trying to bond by creating a common enemy.

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The strength in tolerance and kindness

August 2, 2015 by Zero Dean

There’s nothing wimpy or weak about being kind or tolerant of others.

Quite the opposite, really.

Patience and tolerance are often indicative of self-control.

Reflexive anger, hate, and aggression — on the other hand — represent a lack of self-control and often lead one to undesirable consequences.

In the hands of someone with mental discipline, the unrestrained anger and aggression of others can often be used against them.

If you can’t control yourself — the one and only person you truly have any control over — you may appear strong in the moment, but it isn’t real power, it’s weakness.

Self-discipline is a key to many doors. Not least of which is one that leads to a better, stronger, and healthier version of yourself.

If the results of your habits don’t make you a better, stronger, or healthier person, it’s time to consider new habits that do.

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