If you’ve sensed a slight shift in tone of some of my posts lately, I can explain why thusly (off the top of my head, so paraphrasing):

• Do one thing every day that scares you.
• Growth happens beyond comfort. (1) (2) (3) (4)
• Be brave, take risks. (1) (2)
• Offsite: Be a voice, not an echo.
• Have something to say, don’t just say something.
• If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.
• Offsite: Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter

I don’t always enjoy sticking my neck out, showing vulnerability, or openly challenging people or their beliefs, but when I do, it’s because I want to grow and learn from the experience as much as I want to help people grow and learn from the experience.

And finally, one of my favorite quotes…

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve gotten.”

Writing about stuff you _think_ is one thing. Writing about stuff you _experience_ is another.

I prefer real-life experience and the lessons it provides over relying entirely on theories, quotes, and folk tales.

Beyond things that are simply common sense, if you don’t try something that’s new for you, and simply rely on other people’s results, how will you ever discover if their results and their conclusions are in line with your own?

No two people who share an experience will ever describe it in exactly the same way.

It’s good to take risks (within reason) and try new things.

If that’s not a vital part of living a well rounded life leading to personal growth, I don’t know what is.

…

*And if you’ve ever taken something I’ve written about personally, it isn’t.

The only people I’ve specifically written posts for are my family (a few they’ve never acknowledged) and my unborn children (many).

And someone I wanted to help through their depression. And another I didn’t want to be so hard on themselves.

Related:

• If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.
• Parachutes
• Strength from discomfort
• Relations and relationships

“Hey, guys. I’m going to pick up this really bad habit that everyone warns me about and it will probably shorten and significantly reduce the quality of my life if it doesn’t kill me first.”

“What are you, crazy? Don’t!”

*A few years later*

“Hey, guys. I just quit the really bad habit that everyone warned me about.”

“OMG. Congratulations! You are such an inspiration.”

O_o

Yes, congratulations to those who quit bad habits.

You’ve done the right thing. You’re setting a good example. And you should be encouraged for it.

But also congratulations to those who don’t pick them up in the first place.

You’ve done the right thing. You’re setting a good example. And YOU should be encouraged for it, TOO.

Sometimes people think you have to do big things — or do something unwise and then correct it — to be an inspiration.

But no.

You inspire people every day simply by setting a good example.

Related:

• Doing Good
• Wearing a cape is optional
• The right thing to do
• Lanes Merge Ahead
• Dear Self
• How to be a Superhero in Real Life (part 1)
• Offsite: PHD in Leadership. A short course…
• Offsite: A leader leads from in front, by the power of example.
• Offsite: You can’t change other people. You can only offer guidance and lead by example.
• Never underestimate the power of a single act of kindness
• Being kind without expectation is the truest kind of kindness
• Go ahead, make someone’s day…
• Being awesome doesn’t mean simply existing
• Your greatness is not measured by how much you’re able to gain…
• To do list
• Success isn’t just about accomplishment
• Be a candle. Spread some light.

Don’t just wish for a life you don’t have without ever taking action to make your desires a reality.

The truth is, you may fail. And that’s life.

But you’re much more likely to regret never having tried than you are in finding within yourself the strength, courage, and determination to go after you what you really wanted.

And even if you don’t get what you strive for, you learn & experience so much more in the process of trying than you do by sitting on the sidelines watching your life pass you by.

Watching the game of life and taking what is handed to you is nowhere near as rewarding as playing the game of life and going after what you truly desire.

The Bravery – Time Won’t Let Me Go (video)

Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on TV
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be

Time won’t let me go
Time won’t let me go
If I could do it all again
I’d go back and change everything
But time won’t let me go

I never had a ‘Summer of 69’
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?

Time won’t let me go
Time won’t let me go
If you gave me back those years
I’d do it all better I swear
Time won’t let me go

If I could go back once again
I would change everything, yeah
If I could go back once again
I’d do it all so much better

Time won’t let me go
Time won’t let me go
If I could do it all again
I’d go back and change everything
But you won’t ever let me go

Related:

• “I have no opportunities.”
• Stop wishing for more time
• “It’s too late.”
• “Someday”
• The results of your actions speak louder than words
• What you do in your free time determines what you’ll be doing when you don’t have a choice.
• If you want something extraordinary
• Energy flows where attention goes.
• “I can’t do that”
• Who is in charge?
• If you have the power to change something that is holding you back, and you don’t…
• Self-imposed limitations: A tough pill to swallow
• Your life story
• Live with intention. Every day.
• What it means to “live life to the fullest”

You vote for what you want to see more of every time you buy, click, comment, share, and tune in.

Make sure your viewing, spending, and browsing habits are an accurate reflection of what truly matters most to you.

Enough with the cheap, the scandalous, and the superficial. Enough with helping mega corporations market products that provide no long-term benefit to anyone but their stockholders. Enough with everything being “this vs. that” and “us vs. them”.

Enough with the non-stop cycle of bad news.

We could all use a little more prosperity. A little more hope. A little more good news.

We owe it to ourselves to spend some time each day looking for the good and highlighting those making a positive difference. We owe it to ourselves to initiate positive change.

We owe it to ourselves to tell the media what we truly want instead of having the media and content providers decide for us.

You can’t be enriched on a diet of bad news and no substance.

Clickbait can wait.

Related:

• The 2014 way of grabbing an audience
• Yesterday’s heroes
• We can do better
• We are surrounded
• Marketing and media manipulation
• Integrity
• A tough pill to swallow

RE: Clickbait
noun informal
(Mainly on the Internet) content, especially that of a sensational, superficial, or provocative nature, whose main purpose is to attract attention and draw visitors to a particular web page which profits from visitors due to advertising.

A phenomenon now spreading to broadcast news headlines.

The 2014 way of grabbing an audience

• Use sensational titles
• Write lists. And more lists. And lists of lists.
• Keep your content so short and with so little substance that it’s unnecessary to even write it well
• Use profanity to represent passion whenever possible
• Appeal to people’s emotions using cheap tactics
• Create unnecessary or fake controversy
• Manipulate facts to meet your agenda
• Make it “this vs that” & “us vs them”
• Bitch about something people can relate to

Combine all of the above as often as possible.

First it was bloggers. Then it was content websites. Now even (formerly reliable and esteemed) news sources are doing this, too.

And it works. It definitely works.

But it’s also a very quick way to lose the respect of people who realize you’ve abandoned your integrity and sacrificed the quality of your content to manipulate people & gain an audience.

Please avoid clickbait and sharing clickbait. Even if it’s “The one video you must see that will change your life forever.” or “You’re not going to believe what happens next.”

It’s cheap & manipulative.

Do you like being manipulated? Probably not.

But what if I wrote, “10 ways to know you’re being manipulated & 5 ways to fight back”?

That’s certainly a more enticing title than “Marketing and media manipulation“, isn’t it? I get it. And I still won’t play that game (unless it’s *not* a game).

I would suggest that unless you are strictly seeking entertainment (rather than knowledge), clickbait is a waste of your time. And you can do better.

And if you do like it, at least be aware of when you’re being manipulated instead of wondering why you find a source of content so strangely compelling (which begins with my list above).

…

[There’s definitely a difference between providing quality contributions and simply doing whatever you can do manipulate an audience into doing what you want them to.

Not all lists are “bad”, not all short content, not all controversial posts. But when that’s all a site has to offer, or when news sites start doing it, too, it should be a huge red flag and a sign to focus your attention elsewhere.]

Related:

• Clickbait can wait
• Yesterday’s heroes
• We can do better
• We are surrounded
• Marketing and media manipulation
• Integrity
• A tough pill to swallow

When I was a kid (quite young — like 4 or 5), someone gave me a children’s book…

The story involved the main character — I think a female kangaroo — trying to gather all the ingredients necessary to bake a cake.

She went all over the neighborhood asking various animal characters for help…

Got eggs? Milk? Butter? Sugar?

And in response to her requests, each of the characters she asked for help came up with a bunch of excuses as to why they couldn’t spare what she needed (or otherwise offer any assistance).

Despite getting rejected, she persisted. And although it took her longer, she gathered everything she needed the hard way.

And then she baked a hell of a cake.

Folks in her neighborhood all smelled the cake and came by to admire it. It was amazing.

And, of course, they were all eager for a slice of this delicious smelling masterpiece.

And she said, “Sorry, but no.”

And then went on to explain what was the moral of the story…

Which was basically, that if you’re able, but not willing to contribute in some meaningful way to helping someone make a cake, don’t expect cake when the cake gets made.

Anyway, this story (not the details, but the moral) has stuck with me my entire life. (I wish I had a copy of that book — or at least knew the title).

Similar to the moral of this story is something Will Smith once said, “If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”

Now, I’ve been on this journey I’m on for nearly 5 years. And it’s been anything but easy.

It’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done and continue to do. And I say that without any amount of exaggeration.

(And if you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, it’s because I don’t put my struggles front and center — and the few that I do, I tend to joke about them.

I keep the majority of my hardships to myself — perhaps for my book, but mostly because I don’t want what I offer here to be about that. And I haven’t found a way to share those aspects of my journey without them being distracting — or misinterpreted.

But if this is something you’d like to know more about, just ask).

But I do what I can with what I have, despite how limited my resources are. And I try to make it work.

And while it’s been difficult, it’s also been rewarding. And there are signs I’m making progress. But it hasn’t been rewarding (yet) in any significant way that has yielded resources I can use — other than the experiences & lessons I share.

Those of you who are actually reading this are some of my biggest supporters — even if that simply comes in the form of a comment or encouragement. The fact that you’re even reading this wall of text says a lot. (*THANK YOU*).

This post has nothing to do with you.

It does however, have much to do with those (more than a few people) I’ve asked for assistance along the way — or wished to discuss something related to this “project” of mine, and they all declined or failed to give me the time of day or even any kind of encouragement.

And yet, in the nearly 5 years I’ve been doing this, many of these same people — with apparently short memories — have all managed to come back around asking me for favors or simply wondering why I’m not actively involved with some new thing that they’re doing.

And if they ever read this children’s book, it would be obvious.

…

Even if you have nothing to give someone, kind words and encouragement (expressed sincerely) cost nothing.

RE: The Little Red Hen (Wikipedia)