Zerosophy Archives - Page 70 of 96

Time won’t let me go

November 11, 2014 by Zero Dean

Don’t just wish for a life you don’t have without ever taking action to make your desires a reality.

The truth is, you may fail. And that’s life.

But you’re much more likely to regret never having tried than you are in finding within yourself the strength, courage, and determination to go after you what you really wanted.

And even if you don’t get what you strive for, you learn & experience so much more in the process of trying than you do by sitting on the sidelines watching your life pass you by.

Watching the game of life and taking what is handed to you is nowhere near as rewarding as playing the game of life and going after what you truly desire.

The Bravery – Time Won’t Let Me Go (video)

Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on TV
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be

Time won’t let me go
Time won’t let me go
If I could do it all again
I’d go back and change everything
But time won’t let me go

I never had a ‘Summer of 69’
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?

Time won’t let me go
Time won’t let me go
If you gave me back those years
I’d do it all better I swear
Time won’t let me go

If I could go back once again
I would change everything, yeah
If I could go back once again
I’d do it all so much better

Time won’t let me go
Time won’t let me go
If I could do it all again
I’d go back and change everything
But you won’t ever let me go

Related:

Clickbait can wait

November 10, 2014 by Zero Dean

You vote for what you want to see more of every time you buy, click, comment, share, and tune in.

Make sure your viewing, spending, and browsing habits are an accurate reflection of what truly matters most to you.

Enough with the cheap, the scandalous, and the superficial. Enough with helping mega corporations market products that provide no long-term benefit to anyone but their stockholders. Enough with everything being “this vs. that” and “us vs. them”.

Enough with the non-stop cycle of bad news.

We could all use a little more prosperity. A little more hope. A little more good news.

We owe it to ourselves to spend some time each day looking for the good and highlighting those making a positive difference. We owe it to ourselves to initiate positive change.

We owe it to ourselves to tell the media what we truly want instead of having the media and content providers decide for us.

You can’t be enriched on a diet of bad news and no substance.

Clickbait can wait.

Related:

RE: Clickbait
noun informal
(Mainly on the Internet) content, especially that of a sensational, superficial, or provocative nature, whose main purpose is to attract attention and draw visitors to a particular web page which profits from visitors due to advertising.

A phenomenon now spreading to broadcast news headlines.

Yesterday’s heroes

November 9, 2014 by Zero Dean

Yesterday’s heroes:

Explorers, envelope pushers, record breakers, mind blowers…

They represented many of man’s greatest ideals. Integrity, honor, resourcefulness, respect, curiosity…

We believed in such things. We cared about such things.

Today’s heroes:

Millionaires, billionaires, corporations, celebrities, sell outs…

People who are more concerned with their status and their bank accounts than whatever it was that allowed them to gain what they got.

Yes, there are exceptions. They deserve to be seen. They deserve to be heard.

We deserve better than the status quo.

We deserve better than politicians who sell themselves to the highest bidder, regardless of the evils that bidder represents.

We deserve better than a media that cares more about ratings & spin and sponsors and the next election cycle than the truth.

We deserve better than corporations that sabotage each other and impede progress & growth to simply make their stockholders happy.

We deserve people with integrity that we can trust. We deserve companies racing into the future with advancements that will benefit all and not just the elite. These kinds of people & companies deserve the headlines every day.

Not some celebrity having a baby. Not some singer releasing a remix. Not some deranged killer. Not another unfaithful, outrageous, drug addicted, alcoholic, or corrupt politician.

Where are the heroes? Where are the people with integrity? Where are the people we can trust? Where are the people we can believe in?

Yes, they do exist, but we rarely see them because the press believes we would rather hear about celebrities acting badly than “the crazy ones” trying to change the world.

No wonder people are cynical. We are bombarded with the worst of humanity 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Sickness, greed, killing, war. A corporate agenda.

The fact that the McRib is ever back isn’t news. We should be appalled that it is.

The fact we are striving for Mars and the stars is news. The fact that some envelope-pushing companies could use your support is news.

We deserve organizations striving for peace and harmony, not trying to perpetuate wars for the military complex that profits from them. Yes, war is a business and business is good.

But not for us.

We owe it to ourselves to find better heroes than those who simply use our attention for profit rather than the betterment of humanity.

We deserve heroes that don’t need to highlight their accomplishments every time they make a media appearance for us to believe in them.

We deserve heroes that seek to inspire more heroes and not just inspire people to follow them.

We deserve better. We can do better.

Not tomorrow. Today.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” — TBWAChiatDay

Related:

The 2014 way of grabbing an audience

November 7, 2014 by Zero Dean

The 2014 way of grabbing an audience

Use sensational titles
Write lists. And more lists. And lists of lists.
Keep your content so short and with so little substance that it’s unnecessary to even write it well
Use profanity to represent passion whenever possible
Appeal to people’s emotions using cheap tactics
Create unnecessary or fake controversy
Manipulate facts to meet your agenda
Make it “this vs that” & “us vs them”
Bitch about something people can relate to

Combine all of the above as often as possible.

First it was bloggers. Then it was content websites. Now even (formerly reliable and esteemed) news sources are doing this, too.

And it works. It definitely works.

But it’s also a very quick way to lose the respect of people who realize you’ve abandoned your integrity and sacrificed the quality of your content to manipulate people & gain an audience.

Please avoid clickbait and sharing clickbait. Even if it’s “The one video you must see that will change your life forever.” or “You’re not going to believe what happens next.”

It’s cheap & manipulative.

Do you like being manipulated? Probably not.

But what if I wrote, “10 ways to know you’re being manipulated & 5 ways to fight back”?

That’s certainly a more enticing title than “Marketing and media manipulation“, isn’t it? I get it. And I still won’t play that game (unless it’s *not* a game).

I would suggest that unless you are strictly seeking entertainment (rather than knowledge), clickbait is a waste of your time. And you can do better.

And if you do like it, at least be aware of when you’re being manipulated instead of wondering why you find a source of content so strangely compelling (which begins with my list above).

…

[There’s definitely a difference between providing quality contributions and simply doing whatever you can do manipulate an audience into doing what you want them to.

Not all lists are “bad”, not all short content, not all controversial posts. But when that’s all a site has to offer, or when news sites start doing it, too, it should be a huge red flag and a sign to focus your attention elsewhere.]

Related:

Fear of self-expression is a form of self-imposed slavery

November 6, 2014 by Zero Dean

If you do the best you can to be a decent human being, show tolerance and kindness to others — and still live in fear of what people think of you, your possessions, your opinions, or your beliefs, and then alter your behavior to be “approved” by as many people as possible, that isn’t freedom, it’s a form of self-imposed slavery.

You become a slave to the idea that what other people might think is more important that exercising your ability to express your true self.

Have you ever avoided something as simple as clicking a “like” button or commenting on a post on social media because you were afraid of what people would think if they saw it? If so, then you’re doing it.

If your relationships are so fragile that something like a single like, share, or comment could end them (or cause an unfollow or other equivalent), then perhaps those are not the kind of relationships that are really adding any kind of value to your life.

And perhaps it’s time to ask yourself what the point of “collecting people” in your life is, if the sorts of people you’ve collected will judge you “unworthy” of their friendship and leave you the moment you truly express yourself.

This is an issue that goes far beyond how people act on social media, it’s a real-life problem as well.

Changing who you are to be liked by people may result in more people “liking” you, but it also means that those who “like” you are liking someone who is pretending to be someone or something they’re not.

And, ultimately, you’re sacrificing yourself (and your life) to do it. You’re sacrificing your freedom to express your true self in order to gain “friends” who don’t even like you for you.

In the end, this really makes no sense. Life is not a popularity contest. It’s not about collecting as many “friends” as possible. And no matter what you do, not everyone is going to like or agree with you anyway. That’s life.

Do you respect people who water themselves down, live in fear of being disliked, or pretend to be someone they’re not in order to gain favor? If not, then how can you expect to respect yourself if you do the same things?

“When you are brave enough to be yourself, you give others permission to do the same.”

Be your genuine self and you will find that those who stick around in your life are those who appreciate and respect you for who you truly are. They may not agree with everything you say, do, or believe, but they are far more likely to forgive you for your mistakes or lapses in judgement and stick by you not only during the high times in your life, but also the lows.

And you can live knowing that you’re not being judged by those who matter to you — and if you are, you still don’t live in fear of it, because it’s not your problem. When people judge you, it says more about them than it says about you.

And, in the off chance you suck as a human being and few people like you, then that’s perhaps a sign you have some things to work on to be a better person in an authentic way — and not someone who simply pretends to be one.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

…

As far I’m concerned, if you’re tolerant and open-minded, I like having you in my life, regardless of your beliefs or some opinions you have that I don’t agree with (and vice-versa). Because ultimately, we help each other grow.

I’ve said it before, you don’t have to agree on everything to get along. And some of the best relationships are formed by people who don’t.

Related:

The Little Red Hen

November 5, 2014 by Zero Dean

When I was a kid (quite young — like 4 or 5), someone gave me a children’s book…

The story involved the main character — I think a female kangaroo — trying to gather all the ingredients necessary to bake a cake.

She went all over the neighborhood asking various animal characters for help…

Got eggs? Milk? Butter? Sugar?

And in response to her requests, each of the characters she asked for help came up with a bunch of excuses as to why they couldn’t spare what she needed (or otherwise offer any assistance).

Despite getting rejected, she persisted. And although it took her longer, she gathered everything she needed the hard way.

And then she baked a hell of a cake.

Folks in her neighborhood all smelled the cake and came by to admire it. It was amazing.

And, of course, they were all eager for a slice of this delicious smelling masterpiece.

And she said, “Sorry, but no.”

And then went on to explain what was the moral of the story…

Which was basically, that if you’re able, but not willing to contribute in some meaningful way to helping someone make a cake, don’t expect cake when the cake gets made.

Anyway, this story (not the details, but the moral) has stuck with me my entire life. (I wish I had a copy of that book — or at least knew the title).

Similar to the moral of this story is something Will Smith once said, “If you’re absent during my struggle, don’t expect to be present during my success.”

Now, I’ve been on this journey I’m on for nearly 5 years. And it’s been anything but easy.

It’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done and continue to do. And I say that without any amount of exaggeration.

(And if you don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, it’s because I don’t put my struggles front and center — and the few that I do, I tend to joke about them.

I keep the majority of my hardships to myself — perhaps for my book, but mostly because I don’t want what I offer here to be about that. And I haven’t found a way to share those aspects of my journey without them being distracting — or misinterpreted.

But if this is something you’d like to know more about, just ask).

But I do what I can with what I have, despite how limited my resources are. And I try to make it work.

And while it’s been difficult, it’s also been rewarding. And there are signs I’m making progress. But it hasn’t been rewarding (yet) in any significant way that has yielded resources I can use — other than the experiences & lessons I share.

Those of you who are actually reading this are some of my biggest supporters — even if that simply comes in the form of a comment or encouragement. The fact that you’re even reading this wall of text says a lot. (*THANK YOU*).

This post has nothing to do with you.

It does however, have much to do with those (more than a few people) I’ve asked for assistance along the way — or wished to discuss something related to this “project” of mine, and they all declined or failed to give me the time of day or even any kind of encouragement.

And yet, in the nearly 5 years I’ve been doing this, many of these same people — with apparently short memories — have all managed to come back around asking me for favors or simply wondering why I’m not actively involved with some new thing that they’re doing.

And if they ever read this children’s book, it would be obvious.

…

Even if you have nothing to give someone, kind words and encouragement (expressed sincerely) cost nothing.

RE: The Little Red Hen (Wikipedia)

Matters of miscommunication

October 28, 2014 by Zero Dean

Many miscommunications are perpetuated by people who fail to check that they are either being understood correctly or correctly understanding someone.

One effective means to overcome misunderstandings is to repeat back to the person what you think they said.

“If I’m understanding you correctly, what you’re saying is…”

In that way, you can make sure you’re on the same page and not wasting unnecessary time & energy — or potentially making things worse.

Many misunderstandings also happen because, rather than listen closely to what others are saying, people often use the time that others spend speaking to plan what they’re going to say next. They listen to reply, rather than listen to understand.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey

This is often evidenced by how often people interrupt each other.

Unless it is for the purpose of clarification, interrupting someone to steer a conversation in a different direction is not only an indication that you aren’t listening closely, it’s a sign that you think what you have to say is more important than what the speaker is saying.

While interrupting someone can be acceptable in fun and playful conversations between friends, it can be disrespectful and potentially hazardous in any exchange meant to be taken seriously.

While it’s important to be able to express yourself clearly, it’s equally, if not more important to be able to listen effectively.

There is truth in this ancient wisdom from Epictetus, the Greek Sage and Stoic philosopher:

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

We learn much more through listening carefully than we do by thinking about what we’re going to say when the person speaking stops talking.

There is great power in being a person who can listen effectively.

“There’s a lot of difference between listening and hearing.” — G.K. Chesterton

Related:

Doing it “wrong” and doing it anyway

October 27, 2014 by Zero Dean

Make a donation to a charity? Someone will tell you it’s the wrong charity.
Give to the homeless? Someone will tell you why that’s a bad idea.
Like a certain kind of music? Someone will tell you why it sucks.
Read a good book lately? Someone out there hates it.
Think something is funny? Someone won’t see the humor.
Have something cool you want to attempt? Someone will tell you not to bother because it’s already been done.

George Lucas, JK Rowling, The Beatles, and countless other success stories — all got rejected because someone thought there was something “wrong” with what they had to offer, but they all succeeded because they persisted anyway.

It should go without saying that no matter what you do or what your motivation is for doing it, there will almost always be someone to tell you that you’re doing it wrong.

At some point, you just have to learn to listen to your heart and your intuition and do what you feel is right, regardless of what the critics say. Because sometimes what’s considered wrong or flawed to one person, may be a work of genius to another.

Use feedback to make yourself, your actions, and your offerings more effective, but never give up doing what you want to do just because someone doesn’t “get it”.

Odds are, if you do anything worth doing and it initiates change for the greater good, someone somewhere isn’t going to like it.

Do it anyway.

Related:

Influence by example

October 26, 2014 by Zero Dean

You don’t win points for liking something before it was popular or because it is old.

You don’t win points for judging people or criticising others because they don’t like exactly the same things you do.

You don’t even “win points” for simply being a decent human being, but you’re definitely more likely to earn the respect and admiration others if you keep an open mind and try.

If it brings someone joy and it isn’t causing harm, people should be able to like or do whatever they want without being criticized for it.

When you keep an open mind and look beyond differences, you’ll often find a common ground & things you can appreciate or work for together.

And you might just find life is easier when you see it that way instead of looking for things or people to have issues with.

People are more likely to be influenced by the attitude of others — and the examples they set — than they are by being criticized or having others impose their beliefs on them.

There’s enough judgement in the world. Enough name calling. Enough bullying. Enough “this vs. that” and “us vs. them”. Enough imposing of beliefs.

You don’t change people by telling them they’re wrong.

Want change? Keep an open mind, find common ground, and influence by example.

Be the change.

Related:

Take notice of those who go unnoticed.

October 25, 2014 by Zero Dean

Your mission, if you choose to accept it today, is to notice anyone who may be taken for granted or going unnoticed.

Look for people putting in a solid effort at their jobs.

Consider friends or family who are supportive and encouraging.

Look for people committing acts of kindness.

Think of those who have made or continue to make a difference in your life.

Look for those setting a good example.

And when you notice them, acknowledge them in a meaningful way. Be specific.

Leave them with an encouraging encounter and something positive to remember.

Theme(s):

Missions

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