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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Zerosophy

“I can’t do that.”

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“I can’t do that.”

“I can’t even draw a stick figure.”
“I can’t even stand on a skateboard.”
“I can’t play a tune.”
“I can’t type that fast.”
“I can’t…”

Really? Well I have some questions for you:

  • How often have you really tried?
  • How much have you educated yourself about that particular thing you “can’t” do?
  • How much training did you get?
  • How much practice have you put in?
  • Did you make doing whatever it is a priority in your life or were you just expecting to miraculously wake up one day with this new ability?

Because, while it is true some people are more naturally talented at some things than others, most people who are good enough at something for you to notice how good they are at that thing have put in countless hours practicing that thing.

So is it really any surprise that you’re not as good at something as someone who has trained themselves to do something is?

Be very wary of the limitations you place on yourself. Repeatedly telling yourself that you can’t do something, will eventually make it true, simply because you convince yourself to never try.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” — Henry Ford

And let’s be frank, perhaps with countless hours of training, you still won’t be as good at something as you want to be — we all have our own areas of difficulty (as well as excellence) — but you will certainly be better than you were when you started. And you will likely have learned something valuable in the process.

You rarely get better at anything without experience. And that also means countless failures.

So don’t say you can’t do it if you haven’t made repeated attempts and failed.

Don’t say you can’t do it if you’ve barely ever even tried.

As a wise person once said, success is 99% failure.

You’ll never do great things unless you make the effort and try.

Related:

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“Someday”

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Don’t leave everything for “someday.” If it means something to you, make it a priority. Make it happen.

“One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” — Paulo Coelho

…

Remember how I said I’d come someday baby?
How I said I’d come around to see you one day?
I said I’d try to find a way to run away, I’d get away some day…

RE: Crystal Fighters – At Home (video)

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From the comments:

Janene: One of my favorite sayings is…there are seven days in a week, and someday isn’t one of them

The courage to be yourself

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You can’t be yourself when your personal identity is directly linked to what others think or say about you. Good or bad.

Every single person on the planet is a work-in-progress.

When you truly know who you are — and who you are in the process of becoming — you will no longer live in fear of what people say or think about you.

And that is a powerful place to be.

Those you attract into your life will know the true you, not some distorted or diluted version of yourself that you present to others in order to maintain one’s friendship or approval.

No, not everyone will like you (whether you try to please everyone or not), but those who do will like and respect you for who you truly are.

Be a good person — as you are and in your own way — and you will attract more of those types of people into your life.

Because in a world of media manipulated trends, spin, fake news, and superficial celebrities, authentic, genuine, and confident people are much rarer than they should be.

So step it up, if you haven’t.

And keep it up if you have.

We need you.

“When you are brave enough to be yourself, you give others permission to do the same.”

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You are responsible for the energy you put into the world.

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You are responsible for the energy you put into the world.

When you are consciously aware of the kind of energy you project, you’re more likely to act and communicate in accordance with what you truly want out of your interaction with people.

Who would you rather interact with:

  • Someone with a tense and angry face or someone with a smile?
  • Someone who actively wants to solve a problem or someone who just wants to complain?
  • Someone who is cynical and pessimistic or someone who prefers to look on the bright side of life?

When you put out positive energy, you are much more likely to receive positive energy back. And, of course, the opposite is also true.

People respond to your facial expression, your body language, the words you use when you speak, and the tone of voice when you speak them.

If you frequently find yourself at odds with others, it may be a sign to re-evaluate the energy you’re carrying and realigning yourself with your true intentions.

If you want more of the good stuff in life, start by giving it. Because, remember, what you send out comes back to you.

Related:

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Someone should do something

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If you’ve ever thought:

“Someone should do something!”

Remember: You’re someone.

You may not be able to do everything, but you can always do something.

Don’t let what you can’t do stand in the way of what you can do.

Related:

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How big is your box?

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I’ve said this before, but we, as individuals, are almost entirely responsible for building the “boxes” we choose to live in as well as for tying our own strings.

Little by little through life, we often change who we are — or how we act — in order to fit within other people’s expectations of who they think we are and how we think they think we should act.

In short, if you choose to act a certain way to please certain people, you do it at the expense of your true self and your true desires.

Yes, social norms exist for a reason. And there is a time and place for everything. And not all content is suitable for all audiences. And first impressions do matter — and so does being likable…

But you do yourself a disservice if you continually edit or censor yourself out of fear of what you think others will think.

I’ve also said this before, not everyone will like you — and that is perfectly ok!

What’s important is that you like you — and enough other people like you enough to show that you’re not a complete assclown.

Because being yourself is important, but so is not being an assclown.

Related:

The Circle of Like

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  • “This was stupid.”
  • “Not at all funny.”
  • “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
  • “I found the language offensive.”
  • “Who actually likes this stuff?”
  • “The worst gift I received this year.”

I’m paraphrasing the above quotes from reviews of one of my favorite books last year. Some of the actual reviews are far more brutal — and there are many more just like this.

I mean some people really hate this book.

And that’s a pretty sure sign that something is wrong. Right?

So what should the author do? Should they take the criticism to heart and curl up in a ball on the floor? Should they give up writing? (Some people have suggested as much).

Maybe they should seek ways to ensure that their next book — if they can muster the motivation to write one — appeals to these “haters” in some way so as to not to attract such harsh criticism?

They could do that.

In fact, it’s not that uncommon for people to not only change their creations to please others, some even go as far as to change the unique things about themselves in order to be more like those that get better “feedback”.

But I think that’s a mistake.

It may surprise you to discover that the book I’m referring to currently has a solid 5 star rating on Amazon. It has also been one of the best-selling books in its genre since it was published.

So — depending on how you look at it — it’s not so bad after all.

But what about these 1 star reviews? Are they invalid?

No. Of course not. Because an opinion is just that, an opinion.

Even if you’re only in the 1% of people who either do or don’t like something, it doesn’t make you “wrong”. It just means that, for whatever reason, you are not among the appreciative audience the something was intended or most suited for.

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Tease

And while I’m talking about a product and reviews, this also applies to people and criticism about one’s self or one’s creations.

I’ve said it before, some people will like you, some people won’t. That’s life.

The next time you feel rejected, criticized, or cross paths with someone who sees things differently than you do, I encourage you to remind yourself that it is likely impossible to be universally liked. And in order for nearly anything to truly have mass appeal, it must also situate itself within a very narrow spectrum so as not to offend, or bore, or turn off anyone.

And often, the moment something gains mass appeal, people criticize it for exactly that reason.

Even people who donate millions of dollars to charity receive complaints from folks who don’t think it was the right charity, or the right time, or the best use of that person’s money.

It’s very rare that you can ever do what you consider a good thing that everyone who hears about it will appreciate.

Remember this the next time you run across someone who has a different opinion than you do, or who criticizes you or something you produce. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are wrong, but it more than likely means they are simply not among the people you or what you produce is most suited for.

What really matters is making — and doing — the things you want to do for those they are intended for and not wasting your time trying to please or appease those who will never get you — or what you have to offer — no matter how hard you try.

…

What is the book in question? It doesn’t really matter.

Because it could be any book. Or any movie, or song, or literally anything anyone has an opinion about one way or the other.

If you’d like to try an exercise, I suggest going and reading the negative reviews for one of your favorite books or movies. Then, go read the positive reviews for a book or movie you really disliked.

Doing this can help provide added perspective because it reminds us of what it feels like to be at both ends of the spectrum — and neither end is “wrong.”

I think Bill Cosby said it best, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Sometimes we’re the one’s who are liking or being liked — and sometimes we’re not.

That’s the Circle of Like.

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A mission of kindness

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Your mission today, if you choose to accept it, is to perform a random act of kindness.

Pay for someone’s toll or coffee.Put some change in an expired meter (*Note: may be illegal in some states). Share an artist’s work. Make a donation to a cause or help promote it. Help fund a Kickstarter project. Have flowers delivered to a receptionist. Let the Wookie win.

Or just make a stranger smile.

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