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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Looking good

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Being well groomed is one thing. Dressing for the occasion is another.

But so many people spend so much time hiding their natural beauty with gimmicks and add-ons that they end up looking like everyone else doing the same exact thing.

Want to look good? Exercise. Eat better. Hydrate. Take care of your teeth. And be someone’s reason to smile.

I can almost guarantee that those things will do more to make you not only feel better and give you more energy, but will also keep you feeling better and more attractive far longer than any temporary solution that wears out or washes off.

The things that make you beautiful are a part of you and not an add-on. Especially those things that make you unique.

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The greatest challenge in life

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Always remember that people who say things like, “The greatest challenge in life is…” are speaking from limited experience.

What is one person’s greatest challenge in life is another person’s walk in the park.

We are not all one and the same.

No matter how similar our backgrounds may be, every journey we take in life is uniquely our own.

It is extremely rare, if not impossible, for one person, one book, one statement, or one quote to speak to or for everyone. And it is arrogant (or ignorant) for people to suggest that they can.

There are a million or more people in the world who will suggest that they know what the meaning of life is. But in the end, it’s up to you to decide based on your own experience.

Because your life — like your journey — is your own. And the only person it needs to make sense to — and quite possibly the only person it will ever make sense to — is you.

And for some, that is the greatest challenge in life. And for others it’s a walk in the park.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” — Ian Maclaren *

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You. Making a difference.

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7 billion people on the planet.

And you’re THE ONE in 7 billion today who is going to make someone’s day significantly better by having been a part of it?

That’s value, power, and making a difference.

That’s being awesome.

What are you, some kind of superhero?

Keep up the good work!

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Freedom of speech

If you want to use “freedom of speech” to show how much of a bigoted idiot you are, I will defend your right to do so.

But “freedom of speech” doesn’t mean “freedom from consequences”.

I think some people miss that part.

Tolerance Kindness

You may:

  • Lose business
  • Lose respect
  • Lose friends
  • Lose your job
  • Lose opportunities

All because you are intolerant of those who are different than you. Be it *personal beliefs, race, religion, national origin, gender, disability, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status.

*Re: Bigotry (Wikipedia)

Dwell on the positive moments in your life

Anytime someone — anyone — ever does something nice for you, is considerate to you, makes you laugh or smile, or otherwise just makes you feel good, always take an extra moment to acknowledge the gesture and highlight it in your mind.

Make it into something more than just a fleeting, quickly forgotten moment. Make it a memory.

The more you take the time to dwell on positive moments in your life, the more that these moments will begin to appear, and the more of them you will remember and be grateful for.

And the more you are truly grateful for these moments, the more appreciation you will have for when they happen and the people who help make them possible.

So, starting today, always make a conscious effort to dwell on these often forgotten positive moments in your life. Soon you will find that there are far more of them happening around you than you ever imagined.

“…Every single day contains delightful moments…but so many of us are so deeply zoned out, our senses dulled by that sensory overload, that we fail to recognize them.” — Dawn Sievers (From: In Both Directions)

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Ignored vs unnoticed

There is a huge difference between being ignored and simply going unheard or unnoticed.

This applies to real life communication, but is especially applicable to social media.

Unless you have an audience of considerable numbers that is eagerly waiting to read whatever it is you have to say, it is not a question of if one of your social offerings will go unnoticed, but when.

And when it does happen, it’s important to realize that the lack of response is not at all an accurate reflection of what your audience thinks. Because if they didn’t see it, they can’t have an opinion about it.

There may also be times that your social offering simply isn’t best suited for the people who actually see it. This matters less when you have a huge audience, because the chances are good that at least some sampling of the people who follow you will see and like what you have to offer.

But if you are dealing with a smaller following, not having your post or comment connect with the first wave of people who “see” it can greatly reduce any chance it has of “getting out of the gate”

The reason for this is because of how social media posts are typically distributed. Popular (more interactive) posts get more popular. The more something is liked, shared, or commented on, the more it gets distributed — which results in more people seeing it, liking it, or commenting on it.

But there will be times when your post or comment, as great as it is, never gets out of the gate because it didn’t connect with the few people who first saw it.

And that’s normal. So if you’ve ever posted something and thought you were being ignored, it’s more likely you were going unnoticed.

And the vast majority of times this happens in real-life social situations, it is also not because people are actively ignoring you. It is again, simply because whatever you have said, done, or offered has gone unnoticed.

And if this happens to you often, this would be a good time to watch How to speak so that people want to listen.

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Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean

Your life is a puzzle without edges.

Your life is a puzzle without edges. And everyone’s is unique.

No one is born with all their pieces — or knowing what their “life puzzle” will look like.

We gain pieces of our life puzzle by having meaningful life experiences. The more unique that the experiences we have are, the more unique are the pieces of the puzzle we receive.

Every truly meaningful moment we experience in life provides us with another piece that fits somewhere within our puzzle.

The more meaningful experiences we have, the more pieces we receive, and the more the pieces begin to connect with others in our possession.

Our life puzzles are all something we have to piece together on our own and try to figure out as we go.

Your life puzzle doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you — and sometimes it won’t make sense at all, because not all the pieces you have connect with each other. So you have to be patient — and live, and reach out for more meaningful experiences.

And because your life puzzle has no defined edges, you will never know exactly how big your puzzle will be, but if you have enough meaningful life experiences and gain enough pieces as a result, it will start creating a picture you can see.

And from that, you can begin to make sense of the journey that is your life.

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It’s OK to be weird (and the best people usually are).

In case no one told you, it’s OK to be weird (and the best people usually are).

Being weird doesn’t mean everyone will like you. But what’s the point of fitting in if you sacrifice your real self to do it? What’s the point of fitting in when it still doesn’t guarantee that everyone will like you?

And what’s the point of being liked when you are being liked for pretending to be someone or something you’re not?

Be your authentic self and you will attract people into your life who will like you for being you.

And then you can stop pretending to be “normal” and simply be comfortable with who you really are.

“Masks” by Shel Silverstein

She had blue skin.
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by –
And never knew.

[ And let me be clear, celebrating your weirdness doesn’t mean being disagreeable. It doesn’t mean completely disregarding people’s personal comfort or disrespecting individuals or customs or the environment. And it doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be totally socially inept. Quite the opposite.

Even if you don’t want to conform, it is important to conduct yourself in a way that is compatible with the society in which you find yourself.

Eccentricities can be good. And being quirky can be good. But if “being yourself” means you’re an assclown — try to be someone more agreeable. ]

From the comments:

Jackie: I’ve been told I’m weird since I was in my late 20s. I’m now 63 working on being totally myself before my birthday next month! Weird is wonderful! Weird is wild, wicked, wise, real, delightful, devilish, roguish, reliably funny, and so many other things. Why would anyone aspire to “normalcy”? How flipping boring, don’t you agree?

Zero: I do agree. I love the unique things about people that make them interesting.

Of course, not everyone’s “weirdness” is compatible with everyone else’s “weirdness”, but it’s still so much better to live life authentically than it is to pretend to be something you’re not — or be caught up in trying to be liked for things that just aren’t a part of your genuine self.

To live that way is to live a lie.

Jackie: Tried living the lie. Hated it. Decided to be me. Then learned how to be me. Scares the crap out of many folks. Makes me giggle, giddy, goofy, and best of all weird because there is no concentration on “fitting in” or being “normal.”

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The master of your destiny

People often know exactly what they need to do to get the results they want, but fail to start because they don’t want to put in the work or subject themselves to the discomfort necessary to get from where they are to where they want to be.

Don’t fall victim to your brain telling you that it doesn’t want to do something — that could benefit you or others — because it is challenging or uncomfortable.

Most things you think are difficult to do at the beginning get easier with repetition. Not because the task gets easier, but because you get better at it. Stronger.

Every challenge you face and overcome today helps provide you with the strength & knowledge necessary to overcome the challenges you face tomorrow.

You have it within you to be the master of your destiny by resolving to bravely face the challenges necessary to get the positive results you want in life.

But you must stop trying to cheat your way through life by looking — or waiting indefinitely — for the magic pill or shortcut that never comes.

Do what is necessary to get the results you desire, and the discomfort you feel at the beginning of your journey will greatly diminish — or go away completely — if you commit yourself to getting through it without giving up.

Don’t sacrifice the kind of life and health you truly desire by catering to your short-term comfort over your long-term goals.

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