Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.
Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker
Too many people put too much focus on how many followers they have and not enough focus on the quality of the connection.
If you’re trying to gain followers, perhaps you would be better served by focusing less on collecting people and more on connecting with people.
*This applies to “friends” as well.
Over the years, I’ve received many requests to follow people on social media — or to like their content in exchange for a return of their “favor” of liking my content or following me — and I eventually started saying no.
And this is always awkward because people’s first thought is that I am rejecting them — when, in actuality, I am doing them (and myself) a favor by keeping the motivation for liking content or following others authentic.
So, while I’m happy to help people in whatever meaningful ways that I can, I don’t exchange or negotiate social media favors or arrangements because it leads to inauthentic behavior & expectations.
This means I will not like posts or subscribe to or follow people by request or simply because someone likes my content or follows me.
Once people make arrangements to trade social media favors, they become a slave to the social media machine where actions are no longer motivated by a genuine interest in other people or what they offer, but instead become motivated by a feeling of obligation or expectation or what a person wants in return.
I’ve done it. I’ve played the game.
I’ve followed people not because I liked them (I likely didn’t know them) or what they had to offer, but because I hoped that by following them, they would follow me back. And I’ve liked other people’s posts with the hope they would like mine back. And it works. A percentage of people will return the “favor”.
But is it really a favor when the positive engagement you think you’re getting for what you post isn’t done out of a genuine appreciation for it? No.
The best followers you will ever gain are those who have a genuine interest in you and what you offer and not those who simply follow you out of a feeling of obligation or reciprocation.
Imagine how much better it will feel when you can act with authenticity and simply follow people you want to follow or like content that you actually like and not because you feel obligated to.
Please like, follow, and subscribe to whoever you wish out of genuine desire — and I will do the same.
If you don’t like my content, don’t like it. If you don’t want to follow me, don’t. And if you do, do. It’s as simple as that.
Related:
Self love: Being content with the work-in-progress that you are. Not seeking the approval of others. Being yourself. Comparing yourself only to who you were in the past and not to others. Not thinking you are any better than anyone else.
Narcissism: None of the above.
Originally Published on: Sep 29, 2013
Excerpt from:
20 things I’ve learned about determination & commitment in 333 days.
If you’re truly going after your heart’s desires and you truly believe in yourself and what you’re trying to accomplish, then it doesn’t matter what other people think because you’re not doing it for them — you’re doing it for you.
Related:
Originally Published on: Apr 6, 2011
Anyone can fake being “normal”. Anyone can try to please everyone and turn off no one. Anyone can constantly concern themselves with what other people think of them or how they are perceived. These things are not only incredibly common behaviors, they’re dangerous.
Because – if you’re constantly checking in with regard to what “normal” is or only permitting yourself to do what other people expect of you, you’re not only not being true to yourself, you’re letting your fears dictate your life by acting a certain way in order to earn affection or gain favor.
No matter how much you may want to be liked, pretending to be something you’re not isn’t the answer – because you’re not here to be someone else – you’re here to be you. And – if you are not living your life being the best YOU that you can be, you’re not really living authentically. And you are certainly not living up to your unique potential.
While you may not please everyone who crosses your path in life, one person you can consistently please is yourself – but only if you don’t give in to your fears and sacrifice who you truly are in order to constantly accommodate the expectations of others.
Be the best person that you can be – while being true to yourself – and you will naturally attract people who appreciate you for who you are, not someone you pretend to be.
To pretend to be someone you’re not in order to gain favor or followers is to put yourself on a path that will ultimately let people down – most importantly yourself. It has often been said that the number 1 regret of the dying is that they didn’t have the courage to live a life that was true to who they were because they spent so much of their time concerned with what other people might think.
If you want to live an authentic life, stop worrying so much about being liked. It is not your responsibility to make people like you nor is it your job to conform yourself to other people’s expectations. You are here to be the best YOU that you can be – whether other people like you or not.
Failure is feedback. It is not the end.
Life goes on. And so, too, should you.
There is always another step to take, another dot to connect to, another way to make ourselves valuable.
We don’t always get what we strive for, but we only truly fail when we stop trying to make use of what life gives us.
Originally Published on: Nov 15, 2016
