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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Yes, you absolutely make a difference.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” — William James

Yes, you absolutely make a difference.

But do you know how you make even more of a difference?

Simply by being aware of times that you can do so and then following through with some kind of action.

A kind word, a sincere compliment, a bit of encouragement, a smile, a listening ear, some positive feedback…

These things often take mere moments of our time to give, but can be worth so much to the people on the receiving end.

Accentuate the positive and positivity expands. You don’t have to see it to know it happens, but when you do, it is its own special reward.

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Related:

How to tell when someone just wants to fight

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How to tell when someone just wants to fight:

  • Rather than talk about the issue, they talk about you.
  • Rather than actively move towards a peaceful resolution, they turn you into the opposition.
  • Rather than it be “us vs. the problem”, it becomes “me vs. you.”
  • Rather than take what you say at face value, they choose to twist or misinterpret what you say to meet their own needs.
  • They will accuse you of being defensive when you are simply stating facts or your opinion.
  • They will tell you what you think, put words in your mouth, or provide their own justification for your actions.
  • They will tell you what good things they used to think about you before telling you they don’t feel that way anymore.
  • They will tell you how much you disappoint them.
  • They will try to bully you into apologizing and saying you’re sorry.
  • They will recruit others to do all of the above.
  • And as you communicate, things get progressively worse, despite your efforts at working towards peace.

If someone uses the above techniques in a “conversation”, that’s not called being open minded or “working things out”. That’s called trying to “win” through submission.

And the fact is, no matter what the outcome is, there are no winners.

Related:

Emotional reasoning

“Emotional reasoning is a cognitive process that occurs when a person believes that what he or she is feeling is true regardless of a presented evidence.” — Wikipedia

Believe it or not, direct communication, and not making guesses or assumptions — no matter how right you think you are — is still the most reliable way to get accurate information on why someone has chosen to act (or not act) a certain way.

Leaps of logic with regard to others’ motivation are often prone to being inaccurate when one is working with only personal experience or a limited amount of information.

If you want to know the when, what, or why behind something someone did or is doing, many times all you have to do is ask.

Never underestimate the power of clear, open, honest, and direct communication as a means to establish or perpetuate long-lasting and rewarding relationships.

As it is often a lack of these things that ultimately cause relationships to fail.

Don’t fill in the blanks for things you don’t know the true answers to with negative things that you convince yourself are the truth.

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Related:

“I just tell it like it is”

“I just tell it like it is.”

Well, technically, as no two people perceive or experience things in an identical fashion, you tell it like you interpret it.

Perception may be reality — and there may be a great deal of agreement on shared experiences — but every one of our realities is unique.

What one person considers “normal”, another may consider “alarming” or “extraordinary” depending on personal experience, beliefs, education, age, race, gender, sexual orientation, health, fitness level, energy level, timing, intelligence, and, above all, interpretation.

Because we are prone to making mistakes in judgement, what we consider to be “true” based on our senses alone is not a guarantee of accuracy.

This can have a dramatic affect on our lives by allowing us to live according to false and self-limiting beliefs.

As Alfred Korzybski said, “The map is not the territory.

So no, you don’t tell it like it is. You tell it like you interpret it. Sometimes you’re accurate. And sometimes you’re not.

“Experience is not what happens to you – it’s how you interpret what happens to you.” — Aldous Huxley

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” — Isaac Asimov

An open-mind is a healthy mind.

“Korzybski’s dictum “the map is not the territory” … is used to signify that individual people in fact do not in general have access to absolute knowledge of reality, but in fact only have access to a set of beliefs they have built up over time, about reality. So it is considered important to be aware that people’s beliefs about reality and their awareness of things (the “map”) are not reality itself or everything they could be aware of (“the territory”).” (Wikipedia)

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"I just tell it like it is"

Accentuate the positive

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Every day you have the power to bring out the best in people simply by sincerely highlighting those things you appreciate about them the most.

Whatever you focus on grows stronger. When you focus on those things you enjoy most about people (and life in general), you not only encourage more of the types of behaviors you like to see in others, you attract more of these types of things into your life.

The same is true when you look for the negative. Not only will you find it, you’ll magnify it.

This is why it’s important to be very deliberate with what you choose to focus on, because it is extremely easy to leapfrog from one negative thing to another until you suddenly find yourself overwhelmed, depressed, or in despair.

This is not to say we should ignore problems — or those traits in others we don’t like — only that when we direct out attention to these things, we remain solution-oriented, not problem focused.

Related:

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bring-out-the-best-in-people-accentuate-the-positive-zero-dean

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Originally published on: Feb 7, 2014 @ 15:41
Republished on: Jun 6, 2015 @ 14:41

Happiness. Contentment. Inner peace.

Happiness. contentment. inner peace.  Have you ever gone looking for something, only to realize you had it with you the whole time?   It&039;s like that.

Happiness.
Contentment.
Inner peace.

Have you ever gone looking for something, only to realize you had it with you the whole time?

It’s like that.

Related:

Hello, this is your inner child calling…

RING! RING!

Hello! This is your inner child calling. Remember me? You’re an adult now and we seem to have parted ways some time ago.

I just wanted to tell you how much I miss being able to act and do things without so much regard to what you imagine others might think. Because, once upon a time, that didn’t matter. Remember?

You forget that the majority of people actually like to see people loving life. Laughing. Playing. Being silly. And as long as they’re not being rude or causing harm, people often admire those who don’t concern themselves so much with what other people think.

Maybe part of the key to being happy doesn’t involve staying disconnected from the part of you that was most familiar with states of true joy & happiness. Maybe it involves being confident and comfortable with your complete self.

Because that person who experienced those states of joy & happiness wasn’t looking for those things. They were those things

Related:

Hello, this is your inner child calling