Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.
Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker
This is just a quick update to give you an idea of what’s going on in my life and some changes I’m making on social media.
For 2020, I’ve decided to convert my @zerodean.official Instagram to a private account and I’ve begun to purge followers I don’t recognize & never interact with.
By going private, I hope to establish a more meaningful & intimate connection with those who follow my personal Instagram by engaging with people more directly.
I have several thousand followers I don’t recognize (about 13,000 before I started purging), so if you do, in fact, want to continue following me and I purge you by accident, feel free to send a follow request. This isn’t about restricting access to my posts, it’s about increasing engagement and making sure that the people who want to see my posts actually do. And if you don’t want to be accidentally purged, be sure to engage with me or a post in some way so I recognize you.
Otherwise, you can follow my writing at @zerodean.author and my photography at @zerodean.photography
My personal Instagram account will continue to contain a random assortment of posts – from photos and videos to musings and more. I also plan on posting more often.
I don’t care how many (or how few) people follow me. What I care about is the quality of the connection. Here’s to making 2020 about deeper & more meaningful connections.
Where am I?
After spending 3 or so weeks in Key West, I’m now in the Miami area. I’ve been waiting for the winter holidays to pass before re-engaging my video interview and podcast project about resilience and hope. Things should be picking up again on that front soon. I should also have some random photoshoots to do in the near future as well — just to keep things interesting.
And finally…
And finally, if you bought my book for yourself or someone else or received my book for the holidays, let me know. I’d love to hear from you.
And if you haven’t bought my book and are thinking about buying the digital edition, you may want to hold off a bit as I’m thinking about having another kindle sale in the near future.
Ok, that’s it for now. I hope are having a great holiday season. I hope those of you in cold areas are keeping warm — and those of you in warm areas are keeping cool!
Happy New Year!
Zero Dean
Over the years, I’ve received many requests to follow people on social media — or to like their content in exchange for a return of their “favor” of liking my content or following me — and I eventually started saying no.
And this is always awkward because people’s first thought is that I am rejecting them — when, in actuality, I am doing them (and myself) a favor by keeping the motivation for liking content or following others authentic.
So, while I’m happy to help people in whatever meaningful ways that I can, I don’t exchange or negotiate social media favors or arrangements because it leads to inauthentic behavior & expectations.
This means I will not like posts or subscribe to or follow people by request or simply because someone likes my content or follows me.
Once people make arrangements to trade social media favors, they become a slave to the social media machine where actions are no longer motivated by a genuine interest in other people or what they offer, but instead become motivated by a feeling of obligation or expectation or what a person wants in return.
I’ve done it. I’ve played the game.
I’ve followed people not because I liked them (I likely didn’t know them) or what they had to offer, but because I hoped that by following them, they would follow me back. And I’ve liked other people’s posts with the hope they would like mine back. And it works. A percentage of people will return the “favor”.
But is it really a favor when the positive engagement you think you’re getting for what you post isn’t done out of a genuine appreciation for it? No.
The best followers you will ever gain are those who have a genuine interest in you and what you offer and not those who simply follow you out of a feeling of obligation or reciprocation.
Imagine how much better it will feel when you can act with authenticity and simply follow people you want to follow or like content that you actually like and not because you feel obligated to.
Please like, follow, and subscribe to whoever you wish out of genuine desire — and I will do the same.
If you don’t like my content, don’t like it. If you don’t want to follow me, don’t. And if you do, do. It’s as simple as that.
Related:
Self love: Being content with the work-in-progress that you are. Not seeking the approval of others. Being yourself. Comparing yourself only to who you were in the past and not to others. Not thinking you are any better than anyone else.
Narcissism: None of the above.
Originally Published on: Sep 29, 2013
Excerpt from:
20 things I’ve learned about determination & commitment in 333 days.
If you’re truly going after your heart’s desires and you truly believe in yourself and what you’re trying to accomplish, then it doesn’t matter what other people think because you’re not doing it for them — you’re doing it for you.
Related:
Originally Published on: Apr 6, 2011
Anyone can fake being “normal”. Anyone can try to please everyone and turn off no one. Anyone can constantly concern themselves with what other people think of them or how they are perceived. These things are not only incredibly common behaviors, they’re dangerous.
Because – if you’re constantly checking in with regard to what “normal” is or only permitting yourself to do what other people expect of you, you’re not only not being true to yourself, you’re letting your fears dictate your life by acting a certain way in order to earn affection or gain favor.
No matter how much you may want to be liked, pretending to be something you’re not isn’t the answer – because you’re not here to be someone else – you’re here to be you. And – if you are not living your life being the best YOU that you can be, you’re not really living authentically. And you are certainly not living up to your unique potential.
While you may not please everyone who crosses your path in life, one person you can consistently please is yourself – but only if you don’t give in to your fears and sacrifice who you truly are in order to constantly accommodate the expectations of others.
Be the best person that you can be – while being true to yourself – and you will naturally attract people who appreciate you for who you are, not someone you pretend to be.
To pretend to be someone you’re not in order to gain favor or followers is to put yourself on a path that will ultimately let people down – most importantly yourself. It has often been said that the number 1 regret of the dying is that they didn’t have the courage to live a life that was true to who they were because they spent so much of their time concerned with what other people might think.
If you want to live an authentic life, stop worrying so much about being liked. It is not your responsibility to make people like you nor is it your job to conform yourself to other people’s expectations. You are here to be the best YOU that you can be – whether other people like you or not.
Failure is feedback. It is not the end.
Life goes on. And so, too, should you.
There is always another step to take, another dot to connect to, another way to make ourselves valuable.
We don’t always get what we strive for, but we only truly fail when we stop trying to make use of what life gives us.
Originally Published on: Nov 15, 2016
Always remember that you may not be able to do everything, but you can always do something.
Whenever you catch yourself focusing on a problem or obstacle (which is discouraging), remember to turn your attention to possible solutions (which is encouraging).
While immediate solutions may not come to mind, you can aid yourself in the process by using the awesome power of asking yourself good questions and letting your subconscious guide you.
Don’t let what you can’t do stand in the way of what you can do.
Originally Published on: Jul 2, 2013
