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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Kindness

Complaining vs Encouragement

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You can be someone who looks for and complains about what they don’t like — or you can be someone who looks for and encourages the things they do like. One of these things will nearly always leave you feeling better than the other.

You can wish that more people did a certain thing — or you can actively begin showing appreciation to those who already do. And once again, one will nearly always leave you feeling better than the other.

The fact is, how we approach and seek to overcome problems can leave us feeling better or worse. Combating a negative situation with more negativity is rarely effective. But seeking ways to fight negativity in a positive and empowering way often is.

Encouraging the types of things and behaviors we want to see more of not only leaves us feeling more empowered than complaining does, it helps set a positive example for others to follow. This, in turn, helps to create more of the type of people and behaviors we want to see more of and less of the type of people and behaviors we don’t.

Encouragement is extremely powerful in that it not only nurtures the people you give it to, it nurtures the very thing you are encouraging. And this, in turn, brings into the world more of what you would like to see.

• • •

And remember:

1. It’s ok to show appreciation for things that you feel should be or are relatively common. People love recognition for the good things that they do.

  • You can thank someone for returning their grocery cart to the carousel
  • You can thank someone for cleaning up their mess in a public place
  • You can thank someone for holding the door for someone else
  • You can thank someone for any positive action you see them perform

2. Perception isn’t always reality. Just because you think someone appears successful or isn’t the type of person (or company) that could use positive feedback doesn’t mean your assessment is accurate. When everyone assumes their feedback won’t be significant to the people (or companies) they give it to, few people provide feedback. So instead of the perception that someone is being buried with praise, the opposite is true.

The point is, always take the time to show meaningful appreciation for the things that you like regardless of how “liked” you think they are.

Silent appreciation is easily confused with silence.

Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean

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On Kindness & Disrespect

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Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean

You can be a kind person and still be the kind of person who yells profanity at the car that cuts you off in traffic. Being kind and not tolerating bullshit are not mutually exclusive. Being a kind person doesn’t mean you can’t verbalize your disapproval for disrespect.

Crossing paths with idiots is never an excuse to act badly and you should always strive to set a good example, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay silent or put up with abuse.

Sometimes the biggest favor you can do someone is to stay calm and speak the truth. And sometimes that truth is, “You’re being an asshole and here’s why…” At other times it may mean not giving your time and attention to someone who doesn’t respect it.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be a Zen Master. And you certainly don’t have to tolerate bullshit. Just lead with kindness and always do your best. Even when others are not at their own.

Diminishing the effectiveness of negativity

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In a world of negativity, every positive act you perform, no matter how small, not only helps to set a good example, it helps to diminish the effectiveness of those who spew hate and negativity.

If you want to do some good then literally do some good. Make a positive difference in someone’s life. Do the things you wish more people would do.

What you do for people and the moments and memories you help create can literally change a person’s life (including your own).

It’s OK to be concerned, angry, and upset about the state of things. It’s OK to speak out against hate, intolerance, and injustice. It’s OK to stand up for what you believe is morally right. Just be sure that when you do so, you do it in a way that has a positive impact and doesn’t just add to the negative energy that you oppose. Convert your positive (or negative) energy into positive action. Lead by example by performing actions that you can be proud of no matter how you are feeling.

Make sure children and adults alike can see that there is far more to the world than the things that get shown in the news. That there is far more good in the world than hate. And far more people wishing to create something beautiful than those who wish to destroy it.

Some people may be beyond reach, but there are still countless individuals of all ages and all walks of life in the world that could use the guidance of your good example.

Don’t ever let your disapproval for anyone or anything turn you into someone you don’t want to be.

Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean

When compassionate souls sit silent

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Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean

It is a sad day when compassionate souls sit silent and leave unchallenged abuses and acts of aggression out of fear of losing friends that are only their friends as long as they remain silent and hide what they feel.

If someone is going to abandon your friendship because you feel empathy and compassion towards others, believe in human rights, and are against discrimination, lying, and abuses of power, then they really aren’t the kind of friend you want in your life anyway.

A true friend will never insist that you hide who you are and how you feel.

Love. Not fear.

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“When I despair, I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it—always.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Refuse to let a non-stop cycle of negativity and bad news divert your attention from all the good in the world.

Remember your friends. Your family. And the kindness of strangers.

Make note of those doing good, acting selflessly, or going out of their way to make a positive difference in other people’s lives.

The world is not just war, hate, and conflict. It’s not just people only looking out for their own best interest at the expense of anyone who crosses their paths.

Refuse to be manipulated into thinking the world is mostly made up of people seeking conflict. Because it’s not.

The answer to the world’s problems is not less love. It’s more.

Look for and be the good in the world.

Spread light, not darkness.

Love. Not fear.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” — Lao Tzu

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