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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Self-fulfilling cycles

Whether directly or indirectly, what we choose to pay attention to can have a dramatic impact on not just how we feel, but on our life experience as well.

Expecting negative things to happen is not just more likely to draw our attention to their existence, it’s more likely to prolong it as well. This, in turn, can create a self-fulfilling cycle of negativity.

Energy is contagious. We tend to absorb and proliferate the type of energy we consistently pay attention to. Therefore it is imperative that we be intentional about where we place our attention and be conscious of how it makes us feel.

 

Rather than monitoring and confirming to ourselves how bad things can get before they get better, making positive changes efficiently is much more likely to involve focusing on the actions one can take to initiate positive change and then performing those actions as effectively as possible.

Fault-finding vs appreciation-seeking

There’s nothing difficult about finding faults, flaws, and things to disagree with — which is why so many people seemingly make a sport of it.

When you find yourself with a predominantly negative view of people (or life in general), it can help to change your focus from fault-finding to appreciation-seeking.

“What can I appreciate about this person, this moment, or this thing?” is a question that will often leave one feeling far better for having asked it than simply focusing on all the things one doesn’t like.

 

Where’s your respect?

One of the most significant aspects of living a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life comes down to respect.

Respect for yourself, your body, and your goals. Respect for other people, their property, and their beliefs. Respect for your time and other people’s time. Respect for your relationships, your community, and your environment. And countless other things.

Nearly every important aspect of life deteriorates without respect.

Where is your respect (or lack thereof) reflected in your life?

You’re not here to live someone else’s life

For what it’s worth, when you go about your day without comparing your life to how other people are living theirs, there’s a good chance that you’ll be happier for it.

Be kind & do what you feel is right, but also be mindful of the fact that you’re not here to live someone else’s life, you’re here to live your own.

And, most certainly, don’t let how other people are living their lives dictate how you feel about your own.

Define the problem

People have a nasty tendency to live with problems that they don’t take the time to define. It’s almost as if by refusing to acknowledge the source of a problem, they believe they can get away with not doing anything about it. And that’s how small issues often become big problems.

If you’re unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, or unsatisfied — and it isn’t clear why — stop avoiding the problem by refusing to define it.

Is it the day or is it your attitude?

Happiness is not a choice — but whether you let something ruin your day is.

How you respond to life experiences and the attitude you harbor while doings so is entirely within your control.

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Work to be proud, not popular

Too many people spend too much time trying to be popular — or trying to produce popular things — an not enough time doing things that they’ll be proud of no matter the outcome is.

Being truly proud of your work and what you accomplish is rewarding regardless of its popularity.

Consistently doing — and seeking out things you can do that you’ll be proud of, no matter how things turn out — can be tremendously rewarding and will often increase one’s sense of self-worth and feelings about their life.

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Pretending to be happy isn’t happiness

Happiness is not a choice. It is not a switch you can flip. It is not the result of only having & appreciating positive experiences.

Happiness is the result of having a healthy attitude that allows one to find value in all life experiences, not just the “good” ones.

Pretending to be happy isn’t happiness – and it isn’t healthy. While you may fool some, you won’t fool the one person that it matters to most – yourself. It’s better to admit you’re not happy & work towards a solution than pretend you’re happy and do nothing.

It isn’t likely that lasting happiness will come from the getting of things, but rather from the satisfaction one gets from doing them – and an attitude that allows one to find value in the journey of life & not just a particular destination along the way.

You can be satisfied in your work, fulfilled by your goals (whether you ultimately achieve them or not), comforted by your relationships, pleased with your journey, and grateful for your life without being #happy 100% of the time.

And that’s OK. That’s life.

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