• I steal because I’m poor.
• I poach endangered animals because I’m trying to feed my family.
• I flipped that guy the finger because he cut me off in traffic.
• I beat my dog because he crapped on the carpet again.
• I’m a drug addict because it helps me cope with life.
• I hate on a particular group because their beliefs are against my religion.
• I hit my girlfriend because she was pissing me off.
• I treat men poorly because a man was abusive to me.
• I litter because it’s someone else’s job to pick it up.
• I run red lights when I’m in a hurry.
• I’m demanding of wait staff because it is their job to serve me and I expect good service.
• I work for an evil company because I need the job.
• I double park because I don’t want my doors to get dented.
• I shot an unarmed kid because I felt threatened.
• I text when I drive because I’m careful, unlike everyone else.

These are some extreme examples, but they do demonstrate that everyone feels justified when they choose to do something.

Regardless of whether the outcome of an action is considered “good” or “bad”, everyone does things for reasons they consider reasonable at the time.

Knowing this is an important key to understanding people.

(Having made this point, I want to make it clear that the ends don’t always justify the means.

Having a reason for bad or immoral behavior doesn’t excuse it. But if you want to find common ground or communicate effectively with people, it’s important to understand that everyone has what they feel are legitimate reasons for what they choose to do.

Although sometimes those reasons stem from ignorance or a lack of self-awareness.)

Related:

• One less rhinoceros (intentions vs actions & dealing with mean people)
• Emotional reasoning
• Offsite: We don’t see things as they are.
• Offsite: ‘Not everyone thinks the way you think’