Success and failure Archives - Page 5 of 7

Motivation & achievement

April 29, 2015 by Zero Dean

It has been said that discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most. But knowing what you truly want and why you want it can be as important as the discipline necessary to attain it.

Without a genuine internal desire to accomplish a very specific “something”, it can not only be difficult to do what is necessary meet a goal, it can be difficult to simply find the motivation to get started.

While motivation from external sources such as inspirational quotes, self-help books, or motivational speakers may temporarily set fire to our desire to achieve, these fires are often quick to burn out.

Zig Ziglar said, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.”

This is a clever saying, but it’s more of a crutch for motivation than an elegant long-lasting solution.

As I’ve said before…

“You can read a million motivational sayings to pump yourself up — or echo them to others until you’re blue in the face — but that won’t change anything unless you take action and consistently change your behavior.”

This isn’t to say there is anything wrong with using external motivation as a tool. It works. But the size of the self-help industry is an indication that external motivation doesn’t last.

When one’s motivation is dependent on external sources, the moment those sources are absent is the moment one’s motivation begins to fade. This is because motivation is a state of mind.

And if a particular state of one’s mind is dependent on the availability of things it doesn’t always have control over, it can be difficult to attain the state of mind associated with those things when they’re unavailable.

This is why it’s important to learn how to develop the mental discipline necessary to be one’s own source of motivation.

“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.” — Stephen R. Covey

When one is able to motivate themselves, they light a kind of fire that can burn indefinitely. And for these kinds of fires to be set alight, one must know what they want and why they want it — even if what one wants is to simply to seek pleasure from something or the satisfaction of accomplishment.

It has been said that 90 percent of success is showing up. I disagree.

I’d say, the largest contributor to success is knowing exactly what you want. The next largest is having the proper motivation to achieve it. And the remaining amount, roughly 20 percent, is doing what is necessary to get results.

(This also complements The Pareto principle (also known as the 80–20 rule) which states that, in most endeavors, roughly 20% of the work produces 80% of the results.)

Along the way to achieving whatever it is you desire, make sure your mindset is conducive to creating positive thought processes that reinforce your efforts.

Because until one changes the way they think, they will continue to follow familiar patterns in life. An example of this is when people start new endeavors with enthusiasm (or make New Year’s resolutions), but then fail to find the motivation necessary to follow through after obstacles arise.

The fire you light within yourself must not only burn hot enough to stay alight during turbulent times, it mustn’t be dependent on things you have no control over.

“Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.” — Les Brown

Create and maintain your own motivation by having a clear understanding of what you want and why you want it and then reinforce your positive thought process to achieve it until it becomes not just a habit, but a way of life.

“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want.” — Richard Koch

Related:

If you want to be happy

April 5, 2015 by Zero Dean

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” — Groucho Marx

Imagine how hard it would be for someone to be happy if they spent their time:

Focused on their faults, failures & shortcomings (imagined or not).
Focused on feeling miserable.
Dreading the future.
Consuming garbage and then feeling bad about it (or as a result of it).
Isolating themselves from others.
Focused on what they’ve lost or lack in life.
Constantly comparing themselves to those who are more fortunate than they are.
Unable to accept themselves for who they are.
Unable to see their value as a person.
Lacking any sense of purpose.
Always assuming the worst outcome for any situation.
Being cynical of others’ motives without justification.
Making excuses or blaming others for bad behavior.
Acting rudely or without regard to others.
Refusing to try new things or adapt to new situations or environments.
Letting what other people say or think impact their sense of self-worth.

And yet people do this. They consistently do the things that we associate with unhappiness and then wonder why happiness escapes them.

If you want to be happy, don’t make a habit of doing what unhappy people do.

If you want to be happy, it’s important to take steps to do what you might expect happy people would do:

Focus on making the most of what you have.
Focus on what you’re grateful for.
Focus on building and furthering relationships.
Focus on accepting yourself for the work-in-progress that you are.
Focus on the now — this moment — and make it the best it can be. Let the future take care of itself.
Focus on improvement, not perfection.
Focus on truly knowing who you are, what your values are, what you stand for, and the type of person you ultimately want to be.
Focus not on your mistakes, but on the lessons you learn from them.
Have a purpose. Stand for something. Find something to be passionate about.
Focus on not letting people control your feelings or emotions.
Focus on taking responsibility for your life and not blaming others for your well-being.
Don’t live in fear other people’s thoughts or opinions.
Focus on solutions, not problems.
Do more of the things that make you happy.
Show compassion & value the well-being of others.
Act with generosity & maintain an abundance mindset.
Try new things. Learn new skills. Adapt. Say yes to opportunities.

But also remember, it’s ok not to be happy. It’s ok to have negative emotions. It’s ok to make mistakes. These are an essential part of life and how we learn. But it’s important to not let these things hold us back or lock us into a cycle of self-pity.

Instead, we can use negative emotions and feelings of discontent as the motivation to initiate positive changes in our lives.

The more you release yourself from the negatives in your life and let go of the things that are holding you back from being happy, the more you free yourself to adopt a lifestyle that creates an environment that allows for, nurtures, and sustains happiness.

“Refuse to emotionally succumb to the negative events around you and tap your mental toughness to thrive in any environment. The good guy doesn’t always win and justice doesn’t always prevail, but where you direct your mental energy will always determine your attitude and it will always be controlled by you.” — Steve Siebold

Related:

Relationships 101

September 29, 2020March 30, 2015 by Zero Dean

Never stop doing the kinds of things that made you and your partner fall in love with each other in the first place.

Many people make the mistake of no longer furthering their efforts once they achieve what they want. Only to then wonder why they lost what they had.

___

Yes, learn from your mistakes, but don’t penalize your current partner for past partners offenses.

Every person you meet has different habits and a different history. The past is not the present.

Give people you meet a chance to demonstrate the type of person they are through their actions not someone else’s.

Related:

Beating yourself up & tearing yourself down.

December 18, 2014 by Zero Dean

“My life sucks.”
“I’m a failure.”
“I’m not where I want to be.”

It should be obvious, but even if you’re not exactly where you want to be in life — or you’re unsatisfied with your current situation — beating yourself up over the fact that you aren’t where you wish to be only serves to make things worse.

Rather than help, this kind of negative thinking puts the one person most capable of fighting for your well-being at a disadvantage. It turns you into your own enemy.

You wouldn’t tolerate a friend belittling your accomplishments, rubbing your mistakes in your face, or trying to put you down. So why would you accept that kind of behavior from yourself?

You don’t win an award for seeing how low you can go or how miserable you can make yourself feel.

If you have a tendency to do this, it’s time to stop. It’s time to take note of when your line of thinking is leading you in a downward spiral. It’s time to remind yourself that making yourself feel worse about whatever situation you find yourself in isn’t helpful or necessary and no good will come of it.

“This isn’t helping me. I need to stop thinking this way. I need to stop revisiting these thoughts. I need to focus on something else. I need to remember that, ‘This, too, shall pass’.”

While you may not be able to immediately change the situation you find yourself in, you can change is your attitude about it. And rather than focus on your problems, you can focus on solutions to your problems. Even if the most immediate solution is to stop beating yourself up — because that’s a problem you can solve.

It’s important to remember that success in anything is often comprised of many failures. And comparing your life to others isn’t fair. We are each on our own unique journey. No two people are following the same exact paths in life.

And not only do people rarely make their struggles known, they often don’t highlight their failures either. What you see when you look at others’ lives is often only a fraction of a complete picture.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” — Steve Furtick

If revisiting the past in your mind makes you miserable or comparing yourself to others makes you feel like a failure, stop doing it. Because no amount of thinking about these things in this way is going to help you. No matter what you do, you cannot change the past.

The only thing you have complete control over is your attitude and how you choose to act in this moment. This moment matters.

Rather than waste time and energy tearing yourself down, use that time to focus on what you want to achieve. Taking steps to stop yourself from feeling worse is a start.

You, more than anyone, have the ability to be your own best friend, it seems a shame to waste that opportunity by becoming your worst enemy.

Retire those tired old dysfunctional thoughts. Push forward with new ones. Be thankful for what you have and work with it and take positive action.

You can be the hero of your life and the champion of your well-being, but first you have fully commit to the role.

And that transformation will only take place after you stop beating yourself up & tearing yourself down.

Don’t give power to your unfriendly thoughts.

—

*This isn’t about positive thinking or negative thinking. This is about stopping the barrage of unfriendly thoughts that lead one down a debilitating downward spiral that often leaves one feeling helpless and hopeless.

Negative thinking can actually lead to positive change, but it requires that one be in a mental state capable of finding the motivation to initiate that change. There is a huge difference between focusing on self-abuse that makes one’s self miserable and using negative thinking to initiate positive changes.

As I’ve written before, it’s ok not to be happy.

Related:

Life Skills 101

August 30, 2021December 2, 2014 by Zero Dean

Schools should be required to teach life skills & critical thinking more than on what exact date some wealthy white guy did something during some war that took place hundreds of years ago.

Exact dates and names of wars are easily forgotten and are nowhere near as necessary to know as the skills needed to not just survive, but thrive in the world of today.

How to balance a checkbook.
How to manage money.
How to get a job that suits you.
How to get along well with others.
How to channel your emotions into something positive.
How to communicate effectively.
How to learn from mistakes.
How to deal with failure.
How to deal with depression.
How to cope with loss of a parent, friend, or loved one.
How to challenge authority respectfully.
How to protest peacefully.
How to think independently.
How to find joy in learning.
How not to rush into relationships or marriage or parenthood.
How not to end up in divorce.
How to be a courteous driver.
How to stay healthy.
How to deal with stress.
How to live within your means.
How to be polite.
How to respect others.
How to beat shyness.
How to make friends.
How to keep friends.
How to overcome fears.
How to live in harmony with others.
How to be respectful of people that are different than you.
How to keep your workspace clean.
How to study.
How to handle a heavy workload.
How to take risks.
How to dance.
How to listen.
How to be yourself.
How to find your inner voice.
How to teach effectively.
How to help others.
And how to put a roll of toilet paper on the spindle.

We are left to learn these things on our own when, instead, they should be the curriculum upon which all other skills are added.

If every person knew all these things, the world we live in would be a different place.

—

Please note:

My list is not about suggesting that other things shouldn’t be taught. My list is about prioritizing what we learn and teach based on its ability to help maximize the lives of those who learn it.

What is the purpose of teaching things that provide no real-world practical value beyond the classroom in which they are taught?

And just to be clear, I’m not discounting the importance of history (or any other classes currently taught in school). The takeaways from history are important lessons to learn.

However, I am making an example by discounting the fact that the exact date that some white guy landed his ship on a rock — or who the traitor was in a long-forgotten war — has no direct bearing on anyone’s life today (except maybe those who teach history).

Learning who led what army in what war on what day may be an interesting part of history, but it doesn’t help anyone escape poverty.

And yet this is what children are made to memorize before they eventually enter the adult world and realize that the names and dates they’ve learned won’t have any real practical value in their daily lives.

“Dammit, Phyllis! The reason we’re still poor and unable to afford a proper education for our children is because Benedict Arnold was an American traitor and Paul Revere warned us that the British were coming. Thanks, Obama!”

Critical thinking, problem solving, effective communication, handling stress, and learning to live within one’s means — along with the majority of other life skills listed above — matter a lot more in most people’s lives than the names and dates of wars.

And if these things matter more, doesn’t it make sense that everyone should be learning these skills as soon as subjects are of an appropriate age to learn them?

Doesn’t it make sense that we should all have an equal opportunity to learn the skills necessary to handle life?

“Now hold on,” I hear you say, “Shouldn’t this list be the responsibility of parents to teach?”

Ideally, yes. But here’s the problem, not all parents learned these things. And parents can’t, won’t, or don’t teach what they don’t know.

Nor do they necessarily have what it takes (resources, time, mindset, desire…) to learn them as an adult. People often become set in their ways.

I think that if or when it’s culturally common for parents to actually know all of these things, then we can leave these things in the hands of parents to teach.

But in the world of today, not all parents teach these things and so not all children learn these things — and that’s how a large part of the problem perpetuates itself.

The poor stay poor. Teen pregnancy leads to teen pregnancy. Bad communication breeds bad communication.

But on the other end, the children of the educated get the best education. They get better jobs. They get more opportunities and more chances to make even more money.

And the children of the educated pass on many of these life skills to their children because they are educated.

They know these things, so they can teach these things.

But it’s not happening in every home.

But it could happen in every school.

“…In large part, inequality starts in the crib. Rich parents can afford to spend more time and money on their kids, and that gap has only grown the past few decades. Indeed, economists Greg Duncan and Richard Murnane calculate that, between 1972 and 2006, high-income parents increased their spending on “enrichment activities” for their children by 151 percent in inflation-adjusted terms, compared to 57 percent for low-income parents.

But, of course, it’s not just a matter of dollars and cents. It’s also a matter of letters and words. Affluent parents talk to their kids three more hours a week on average than poor parents, which is critical during a child’s formative early years. That’s why, as Stanford professor Sean Reardon explains, “rich students are increasingly entering kindergarten much better prepared to succeed in school than middle-class students,” and they’re staying that way.

It’s an educational arms race that’s leaving many kids far, far behind.” — By Matt O’Brien from this Washington Post article

Supplemental reading:

Poor kids who do everything right don’t do better than rich kids who do everything wrong
This article (from today!) was just brought to my attention: Mindfulness [class] helps teens cope with stress, anxiety

Related:

Offsite: ‘I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school…’

You’re not perfect nor expected to be.

November 18, 2014 by Zero Dean

“I’m such a klutz.”
“I’m bad at remembering names.”
“I have a tendency to say stupid things.”
“I have a crooked nose.”
“I don’t have perfect teeth.”
“I’ll never live this down.”

Whatever you may consider your faults, flaws, and imperfections to be, they are nowhere near as clear to other people as they are to you. And the mistakes you make are nowhere near as magnified.

Yes, you may screw up. And you may embarrass yourself in front of others (everyone has done this). And it may seem like the worst thing in the world. But mistake-makers often have a tendency to hold onto negative thoughts from an embarrassing experience far longer than those who witness or hear about it do.

Always keep in mind that other people don’t see you in the exact the same way that you see yourself.

In fact, it isn’t uncommon for people to have a very low estimation of themselves, their looks, and their accomplishments while also being someone that others look up to and admire.

People in your life — especially the friendly ones — are more likely to remember your successes than your failures. Especially because in the same way people don’t see your flaws the same way you do, they don’t see your failures the same way either.

In fact, you may be the only who thinks of something you did as a failure or some aspect of yourself as a flaw.

And those who do want to highlight your mistakes, failures, and flaws in an unsupportive way are very likely not those you want in your life anyway.

Always remember, everyone makes mistakes. And everyone has flaws. Even your heroes.

It’s part of the human experience. No one is perfect. And some of the most beautiful and most successful people in the world are insecure about something.

We are all a work in progress.

The key is to move forward in your life with intention and not perpetuate bad feelings by reliving a bad experience over and over again in your head. Thus making it difficult for you or others to forget.

“When you truly know who you are — and who you are in the process of becoming — you will no longer live in fear of what people say or think about you.”

Related:

The courage to be imperfect

Leveling up in life

July 31, 2014 by Zero Dean

It is a fact of life that once we’ve reached a certain level of comfort in nearly any particular skillset, finding the motivation to further improve — or “level up” — one’s abilities in that skillset can be a challenge.

This is because, after a certain point, we reach a plateau and appear to stop getting results. And although we may try for a while, the struggle to further improve upon something is often fraught with failed attempts.

So instead, where we once saw a consistent path of improvement, we fail to get results.

People often assume that, because they stop improving, they have reached the apex of that particular skillset. It often comes with the thought, “Well, I’m no longer getting any better at this, so this must be as good at this as I will ever be” and they leave it at that. Or, because something doesn’t come easy, “I guess I’m just not very good at this particular thing. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

“I will never be a faster typer than this.”
“I will never be able to perform this skateboarding trick.”
“I will never be able to run a 5 minute mile.”
“I will never be able to paint like the pros.”
“I will never be fluent in another language.”
“I will never be able to play the piano well.”

And so on.

And that’s unfortunate because they’ve just fallen victim to a self-limiting belief. It’s not, in most cases, that they truly can’t, it’s that they no longer make any attempts to try.

Others fall into the trap of believing that if they simply continue to use a particular skill that they are comfortable with enough, they’ll get increasingly better at it.

The issue with that is that after you effectively hit a “plateau” with a skill (or a muscle), any further repeating of the same thing you’ve been doing will no longer yield significant gains, changes, or growth.

And that’s because it is the struggling and working hard, not comfortably, at something that causes one to get better at it.

And if you haven’t made the connection as to why this is important, this not only applies to skills, or strength training, but life as well.

“If you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.”

It’s also why a wise person once said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.

Joshua Foer, in his 99U talk (video) suggests that you need to “step outside your comfort zone and study yourself failing”.

From his talk description:

“When most of us learn a new skill, we work to get just “good enough” and then we go on autopilot. We hit what journalist and bestselling author Joshua Foer calls the “OK Plateau,” where we have gained sufficient skills for our needs and we stop pushing ourselves.

But experts do it differently. Looking at the research on everyone from incredible athletes to memory champions, Foer has extracted four principles that describe how to push through the OK Plateau to achieve true greatness.”

So if you want to “level up” your skills & abilities and be outstanding, you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

You need to get back to challenging yourself and failing. And learning from your failures and pushing forward despite them.

And, above all, don’t give up until you begin to see positive results. Results being positive changes in your perspective, approach, style, or abilities.

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” — Andy Rooney

Getting Results:

When you don’t get results: Try something else.
If you don’t get the results you want: Try something else.
And if you stop getting results: Try something else.

Related:

From the comments:

Carl: Great post! I have felt like I was at a plateau in my artwork for some time, and this thinking may have been part of it. One needs to examine their process with an eye towards learning how to work smarter, because just taking the same approach and expecting to get better can be just reinforcing bad (or less than ideal) habits that are holding back progress.

While “just doing more work” can lead to unexpected/accidental discoveries that lead to progress (as well as being important for maintaining current skill levels), intentionally thinking about why one approach or another may be better, and trying different approaches to find out what might work better (or finding out what approaches are used by those who are better than you) is likely to be more effective. I need to remind myself of this, more.

Zero: I agree. You can improve simply by doing more work — and have those serendipitous moments (happy accidents), but those, too, are often caused by making mistakes — or certainly by trying something new.

But if you want to improve faster, make more mistakes faster. :)

And I agree with working smarter, not harder — but, in the case of plateauing, it is often our lack of wanting to work hard that keeps us from improving. We’re not willing to make extra work for ourselves when we know of a “shortcut”. But we also never learn what hidden gems are on those long hard roads we fear to take.

“I can’t do that.”

December 28, 2020July 28, 2014 by Zero Dean

“I can’t do that.”

“I can’t even draw a stick figure.”
“I can’t even stand on a skateboard.”
“I can’t play a tune.”
“I can’t type that fast.”
“I can’t…”

Really? Well I have some questions for you:

How often have you really tried?
How much have you educated yourself about that particular thing you “can’t” do?
How much training did you get?
How much practice have you put in?
Did you make doing whatever it is a priority in your life or were you just expecting to miraculously wake up one day with this new ability?

Because, while it is true some people are more naturally talented at some things than others, most people who are good enough at something for you to notice how good they are at that thing have put in countless hours practicing that thing.

So is it really any surprise that you’re not as good at something as someone who has trained themselves to do something is?

Be very wary of the limitations you place on yourself. Repeatedly telling yourself that you can’t do something, will eventually make it true, simply because you convince yourself to never try.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” — Henry Ford

And let’s be frank, perhaps with countless hours of training, you still won’t be as good at something as you want to be — we all have our own areas of difficulty (as well as excellence) — but you will certainly be better than you were when you started. And you will likely have learned something valuable in the process.

You rarely get better at anything without experience. And that also means countless failures.

So don’t say you can’t do it if you haven’t made repeated attempts and failed.

Don’t say you can’t do it if you’ve barely ever even tried.

As a wise person once said, success is 99% failure.

You’ll never do great things unless you make the effort and try.

Related:

i-cant-do-that-zero-dean

The Circle of Like

July 6, 2014 by Zero Dean

“This was stupid.”
“Not at all funny.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“I found the language offensive.”
“Who actually likes this stuff?”
“The worst gift I received this year.”

I’m paraphrasing the above quotes from reviews of one of my favorite books last year. Some of the actual reviews are far more brutal — and there are many more just like this.

I mean some people really hate this book.

And that’s a pretty sure sign that something is wrong. Right?

So what should the author do? Should they take the criticism to heart and curl up in a ball on the floor? Should they give up writing? (Some people have suggested as much).

Maybe they should seek ways to ensure that their next book — if they can muster the motivation to write one — appeals to these “haters” in some way so as to not to attract such harsh criticism?

They could do that.

In fact, it’s not that uncommon for people to not only change their creations to please others, some even go as far as to change the unique things about themselves in order to be more like those that get better “feedback”.

But I think that’s a mistake.

It may surprise you to discover that the book I’m referring to currently has a solid 5 star rating on Amazon. It has also been one of the best-selling books in its genre since it was published.

So — depending on how you look at it — it’s not so bad after all.

But what about these 1 star reviews? Are they invalid?

No. Of course not. Because an opinion is just that, an opinion.

Even if you’re only in the 1% of people who either do or don’t like something, it doesn’t make you “wrong”. It just means that, for whatever reason, you are not among the appreciative audience the something was intended or most suited for.

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Tease

And while I’m talking about a product and reviews, this also applies to people and criticism about one’s self or one’s creations.

I’ve said it before, some people will like you, some people won’t. That’s life.

The next time you feel rejected, criticized, or cross paths with someone who sees things differently than you do, I encourage you to remind yourself that it is likely impossible to be universally liked. And in order for nearly anything to truly have mass appeal, it must also situate itself within a very narrow spectrum so as not to offend, or bore, or turn off anyone.

And often, the moment something gains mass appeal, people criticize it for exactly that reason.

Even people who donate millions of dollars to charity receive complaints from folks who don’t think it was the right charity, or the right time, or the best use of that person’s money.

It’s very rare that you can ever do what you consider a good thing that everyone who hears about it will appreciate.

Remember this the next time you run across someone who has a different opinion than you do, or who criticizes you or something you produce. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are wrong, but it more than likely means they are simply not among the people you or what you produce is most suited for.

What really matters is making — and doing — the things you want to do for those they are intended for and not wasting your time trying to please or appease those who will never get you — or what you have to offer — no matter how hard you try.

…

What is the book in question? It doesn’t really matter.

Because it could be any book. Or any movie, or song, or literally anything anyone has an opinion about one way or the other.

If you’d like to try an exercise, I suggest going and reading the negative reviews for one of your favorite books or movies. Then, go read the positive reviews for a book or movie you really disliked.

Doing this can help provide added perspective because it reminds us of what it feels like to be at both ends of the spectrum — and neither end is “wrong.”

I think Bill Cosby said it best, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Sometimes we’re the one’s who are liking or being liked — and sometimes we’re not.

That’s the Circle of Like.

Related:

Expiration date

January 9, 2021January 30, 2014 by Zero Dean

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” — Oscar Wilde

Are there things you want to do in life? Fears you want to overcome?

Would it change your approach knowing you only had a year to live?

We may not ever know our exact expiration date, but we all have one. And for some of us, it’s closer than we think. This isn’t a pessimistic way of looking at things, it’s a fact. But it’s something we often choose to ignore until it’s too late.

If you truly intend to live life to the fullest , I think it’s vitally important to remind yourself every once in a while — if not daily — that you’re dying.

It may not be the sort of thing you generally find yourself wanting to think about, but by refusing to face this fact, we run the risk of wasting enormous amounts of time getting caught up in things that ultimately provide us with very little value or substance in our lives.

There are more things to do and places to see in the world than any single person could possibly do in a lifetime. So already, our lives and what we choose to experience is a compromise.

A typical lifetime may seem like a lot of time, but time passes faster than one thinks. Adding to this is the fact that we are only teenagers briefly. We will only be in our 20’s once. Our 30’s once. Our 40’s and so on, ONCE.

To think you have time to put everything off to see and do and appreciate until later in life is an illusion.

And then there’s the fact that we only get one body. And it has to last a lifetime. If that’s not an incentive to stay healthy and treat your body well, I don’t know what is. But hey, if you’re not fit or healthy, it’s not too late to try to be.

We get a brain, which we can fill with any number of amazing facts and memories of real-life experiences and not just what we watched on TV. But the brain is like a muscle, the less we use it, the less efficient it becomes.

The fact is, every single day that passes is a day of our life we are trading for it. And we’ll never get it back. You can never get more time, you can only manage it more effectively by living with intention.

This is not to suggest that anyone should act irresponsibly, spend money they don’t have, or live with reckless abandon.

Reminding yourself that every day has value and every day that passes is another day closer to your expiration date can provide the perspective & motivation necessary to help you prioritize your life in a way that reflects the kind of person you truly want to be.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” — Steve Jobs

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