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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Self-worth & esteem

Caring is cool

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Let 2020 begin a decade where we do away with glorifying “zero f*cks” and IDGAF culture.

Lack of caring isn’t cool, it isn’t brave, and it certainly isn’t strong. You know what’s cool? Being brave enough & strong enough to care about things without giving the feedback you get a direct line to your ego.

Feedback from life experience – especially criticism – is an absolutely essential part of personal growth. You can care about what people think without letting it impact your sense of self-worth – even when someone insults you.

Not all of the feedback you get from others is about you. In fact, in many cases, negative feedback has more to do with the person giving it than the person it’s intended for. But if you’re not brave or strong enough to consider it, you’ll never know – and you’ll never grow from it either.

The worst thing about negative feedback is when it’s true. Which is also the best thing about it, because it provides information one can grow from.

When negative feedback is false, misinformed, or isn’t applicable, then there’s no point in feeling bad about it for precisely these reasons.

I’ve been saying it since 2013, it isn’t people who don’t care that make a positive difference in the world – it’s people who do. Be proud of being someone who does.

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There’s no one way

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There’s no one way to reach people that is both effective and makes everyone happy. There’s no one way to teach a lesson. There’s no one way to try to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

What one person finds annoying, preachy, or heavy-handed, another is thankful for. What one person considers common sense, another is contemplating for the first time.

Just because some people don’t appreciate your efforts doesn’t diminish the fact that others do.

Just because your attempts at making a positive difference in the world are not appreciated by everyone doesn’t mean that you should stop trying.

Superficial vs substance

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There will always be people who see the value in your contributions to the world and who genuinely appreciate you for what you’ve done and the kind of person you are.

But by that same token, there will always be those who ignore substance and, instead, judge you based on something superficial, like what you own or how you transport yourself from one location to another.

Always keep in mind that it is not your job to convince people to see substance when all they want to look at is the superficial.

Be the best you that you can be and you will naturally attract those who see value in who you are and what you offer. Don’t waste time trying to get people who overly value superficial things to see your worth. If they ever do, it wont be because you convinced them to.

Originally published on: Dec 31, 2019

Self-love vs Narcissism

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Self love: Being content with the work-in-progress that you are. Not seeking the approval of others. Being yourself. Comparing yourself only to who you were in the past and not to others. Not thinking you are any better than anyone else.

Narcissism: None of the above.

Originally Published on: Sep 29, 2013

It is not your job to make people like you

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Anyone can fake being “normal”. Anyone can try to please everyone and turn off no one. Anyone can constantly concern themselves with what other people think of them or how they are perceived. These things are not only incredibly common behaviors, they’re dangerous.

Because – if you’re constantly checking in with regard to what “normal” is or only permitting yourself to do what other people expect of you, you’re not only not being true to yourself, you’re letting your fears dictate your life by acting a certain way in order to earn affection or gain favor.

No matter how much you may want to be liked, pretending to be something you’re not isn’t the answer – because you’re not here to be someone else – you’re here to be you. And – if you are not living your life being the best YOU that you can be, you’re not really living authentically. And you are certainly not living up to your unique potential.

While you may not please everyone who crosses your path in life, one person you can consistently please is yourself – but only if you don’t give in to your fears and sacrifice who you truly are in order to constantly accommodate the expectations of others.

Be the best person that you can be – while being true to yourself – and you will naturally attract people who appreciate you for who you are, not someone you pretend to be.

To pretend to be someone you’re not in order to gain favor or followers is to put yourself on a path that will ultimately let people down – most importantly yourself. It has often been said that the number 1 regret of the dying is that they didn’t have the courage to live a life that was true to who they were because they spent so much of their time concerned with what other people might think.

If you want to live an authentic life, stop worrying so much about being liked. It is not your responsibility to make people like you nor is it your job to conform yourself to other people’s expectations. You are here to be the best YOU that you can be – whether other people like you or not.

The unique you is beautiful

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Your quirks. Your interest in unusual things. The small things that bring you joy. The odd things you do because they feel right to you. The unique things that you find funny — or fascinating — these are the things about you that make you truly unique and different from others — and they are among, if not the most beautiful things about you.

It can take bravery to be yourself and exert your individuality, but the alternative — to conform — is to become less of an individual. While there is an implied comfort & safety in conformity, conformity represents the ordinary. The status quo. And it is the enemy of creativity.

It is ok to fit in, but to actively change yourself to be just like the crowd is to yield your personal power & influence to others.

Every time you change something unique about yourself in order to be just like someone else, a piece of the best part of you dies.

Don’t think of it as being “weird” or “different”, think of it as being limited edition. Be extraordinary. Not ordinary.

Originally Published on: Jul 8, 2013 @ 06:21

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When you are feeling weak

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When you are feeling weak, always take a moment to remind yourself that you are a survivor of every hardship you’ve ever faced in life. You’ve consistently overcome the worst that life has thrown your way, year after year after year.

No one feels strong 100% of the time. Even the people you look up to and respect most in the world have been knocked down, felt unwell, or needed time to just breathe.

Life can be hard – resist the urge to beat yourself up further when it is. It’s ok to not be ok. Give yourself the time & mental space necessary to get better by refusing to focus on things that make you feel worse.

You will overcome whatever you are dealing with now, as you have with everything you’ve previously faced. This is but a very small part of your life. In the grand scheme of things, you’re doing ok. Keep going.

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