Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.
Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker
It is entirely possible to help people without criticizing them or what they do. It is entirely possible to have a disagreement without being disrespectful. It is entirely possible to teach and guide people without abusing them.
There is no shortage of critics, haters, or people who complain about things that they don’t like. There is, however, a severe shortage of people actively encouraging what they do.
Encouraging what you’d like to see more of is a far more elegant and positive solution than constantly complaining about or criticizing things that you don’t.
If your method of “helping” people often involves making them feel bad, you may want to reconsider what it means to be helpful.
In a world of critics, be an encourager.
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If others in your life seem to have an easier time making friends or connecting with people — despite your interest in doing so — it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
Or if you sometimes feel like no one truly understands or gets you, you’re not alone. Often, this means that “your people” — people like you — are less common (or at least less common where you are) or less likely to indiscriminately reveal their true self to others.
And as much as you may, at times, appreciate your solitude (or not), this lack of connection can sometimes lead to feelings of loneliness or sadness. At times like this, it’s important to appreciate yourself for who you are and to recognize your value as one of your people. Because someone else is out there — who may occasionally feel the same way — and they’re looking to connect with someone just like you.
Be there for them so they do.
One of the most significant aspects of living a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life comes down to respect.
Respect for yourself, your body, and your goals. Respect for other people, their property, and their beliefs. Respect for your time and other people’s time. Respect for your relationships, your community, and your environment. And countless other things.
Nearly every important aspect of life deteriorates without respect.
Where is your respect (or lack thereof) reflected in your life?
People who are really good at hurting people have often been hurt by people who are really good at hurting people. And sometimes these people use their negative experiences to excuse themselves for behaving badly.
Break the chain. Refuse to let your pain drive you hurt people.
Convert your hurt into compassion for yourself and others. Be the kind of person you wish was there for you when you needed it.
Related:
Sitting in my car eating lunch.
Windows are open.
Older man in a car next to mine is on a break from one of the nearby shops. He takes a last puff on his cigarette and tosses it out his window.
Rather than get angry, I simply say, “The ground is not an ashtray.” — He looks over at me. Probably as surprised as I was that I said anything — I continue, “A trash can would be a better place for that.”
He doesn’t say anything.
Just closes his window.
Gets out of his car.
Here it comes, I think. I’m about to get blasted. And then he walks back & picks up his cigarette butt where he flicked it.
And then he walks away.
2020 is full of surprises.
No matter what you do or what you create, it is almost inevitable that someone somewhere won’t like it — even if what you’re doing is generous, selfless, or kind.
Always remember that you don’t do what you do for your critics, you do it for the people who find value in it — even if it’s just one person (or yourself).
Criticism is common. Keep going.
Related:
People are often quick to project negative energy towards things they don’t like. Flipping a finger, getting angry, or tapping some keys makes it easy.
Sadly, people putting out positive energy to actively support the things they value & appreciate is far less common.
Be kind.
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