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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

A key to lasting happiness

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“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” — Benjamin Franklin

Anytime one’s internal state is dependent on external factors, one’s emotional state becomes a slave to circumstances.

A key to lasting happiness (like inner peace and a stress-free life) is in not placing control of one’s happiness in other people’s possession.

If you can’t control it, don’t anchor your emotional state to it.

“Inner Peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”

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Create an environment that allows for, nurtures, and sustains happiness

Excerpt from: If you want to be happy

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The more you release yourself from the negatives in your life and let go of the things that are holding you back from being happy, the more you free yourself to adopt a lifestyle that creates an environment that allows for, nurtures, and sustains happiness.

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Mind control

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” — Unknown

If you treat your mind like a trash can, don’t be surprised when you reach for a thought and all you get is garbage.

“Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” — Charles F. Glassman

Don’t hold onto negative thoughts any longer than necessary. Refuse to reach for toxic memories that do nothing more than generate negativity. Let go of faulty thought processes & coping mechanisms that no longer serve you.

If a negative thought or memory isn’t serving a positive purpose in your life — such as triggering personal growth — let it go.

Make a deliberate decision to collect knowledge, not negativity. Don’t let negative thoughts inhibit your ability to take positive action.

Learn new strategies and new ways to think, as necessary, and resist holding onto anything that no longer makes you happy or helps you develop as a person.

Treat your mind like a vault, not a trash receptacle.

“By means of personal experimentation and observation, we can discover certain simple and universal truths. The mind moves the body, and the body follows the mind. Logically then, negative thought patterns harm not only the mind but also the body. What we actually do builds up to affect the subconscious mind and in turn affects the conscious mind and all reactions.” — H.E. Davey, Japanese Yoga: The Way of Dynamic Meditation

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Painting the canvas of life

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If one’s thoughts are the medium with which they paint their life, one’s actions are the brushstrokes.

It is the skill with which one is able to direct both their thoughts & actions — and the synergy between the two — that allows one to manifest the kind of life they desire.

The more control a person gains over their self, the more control they gain over their life. The more control a person has over their life, the happier they tend to be.

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A healthy attitude

You don’t have to be happy to have a healthy attitude, but a healthy attitude is far more likely to lead to happiness than an unhealthy one ever will.

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Healthy habits harbor happiness.

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Healthy habits harbor happiness.

Unhealthy habits hinder happiness.

Choose your habits wisely.

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Weaknesses are a leaky boat

This post is a follow-up to: What are you weaknesses?

Consider for a moment that you are a boat.

I know it sounds silly, but do it.

You are a boat. And your life is an ocean.

With the proper skills, attitude, and approach you can navigate to wherever you wish to go.

But how quickly & easily you get to your desired destination depends not only on how efficiently you operate — and how resilient you are to challenges you encounter along the way — but on the overall integrity of your vessel.

In other words, how well you do in life depends a lot on how well you can handle and navigate less than desirable circumstances.

Now consider that your weaknesses are like leaks in the hull of this boat.

Under normal circumstances — and if the leaks are small — one can often bail out water quickly enough to keep their boat afloat.

Now, because a boat with leaks takes more energy to manage than one without, the ideal approach is to locate and plug as many leaks as possible.

The more leaks that one can plug, the more efficiently the boat will float and the less one feels the negative effects of the leaks that remain.

In short, identifying one’s weakness and then working on ways to overcome them makes one’s life more manageable.

On the flip side, if the leaks in one’s boat become too prevalent — perhaps while navigating a stormy sea — one’s vessel will take in water faster than one can bail it out.

And whether we’re talking about leaks or personal weaknesses here, not being able to manage them effectively can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, helpless, and depressed.

So you can see why identifying and actively working on one’s weaknesses can be beneficial and empowering.

How to overcome weaknesses is beyond the scope of this post, but it should help to point out that the more that one can identify their weaknesses, triggers, and bad habits, the more that they can make a conscious effort to reduce them.

The more a person makes a conscious effort to reduce the impact of their weaknesses, the more they’re able to direct their life where they want it go.

The more control a person gains over their self, the more control they gain over their life. The more control a person has over their life, the happier they tend to be.

One of the biggest steps toward gaining control over one’s life is gaining control over one’s self.

Plug your leaks.

(And if you can’t plug them, at least learn ways to minimize them).

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” — Carlos Castaneda

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The danger in believing “Happiness is a choice.”

“Happiness is a choice” and “Just BE happy” is a message being spread so much and so often on social media these days that it creates the impression that if you are anything but happy, there is something wrong with you.

And that’s not true.

True happiness involves more than the simple decision to act happy or think positively.

No matter how happy one may act, pretending to be happy doesn’t equal happiness. Habitually convincing yourself that you’re happy when you’re not is potentially dangerous — and here’s why:

When a person who is not happy convinces themselves that they are, they remove the incentive needed to make the changes that are necessary to put them on a path to being genuinely happy.

This only serves to perpetuate the problem because pretending to be happy doesn’t rid a person of any underlying dissatisfaction in their life — it simply covers it up.

It’s far more productive to be unhappy and honest with one’s self than it is to cover up the symptoms of unhappiness by pretending they don’t exist.

It is from pretending to be happy that people often fool themselves into settling for careers or relationships that do little more than cause them to drift further from the things that they truly care about.

And the further one drifts from the things that bring them genuine joy, the further they drift from the most potent sources of happiness that exist for them.

I’ve said it before, it’s not happiness that’s a choice, it’s attitude.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to recognize and be grateful for what they already have.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to consider mistakes to be nothing more than learning experiences.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to consider strangers to be nothing more than friends they haven’t met yet.

It is a healthy attitude that allows a person to see the world as a playground instead of a cage.

And it is a healthy attitude that allows a person to survive a negative experience in a positive way no matter how challenging it may be.

A healthy attitude is what allows a person to see the value in all life experiences, not just the “good” ones.

The simple decision to be happy isn’t as much of a precursor to happiness as a healthy attitude is. A healthy attitude is what allows one to truly appreciate the journey of life regardless of one’s circumstances.

The more one learns to enjoy & appreciate not just the highlights of one’s life, but the complete journey, the more often happiness arrives as a result of that enjoyment.

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Life is hard. And it isn’t fair

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Life is hard. And it isn’t fair. And it really hurts like hell sometimes. But if you focus on what is within your power to change for the better, you can. And you will.

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Setbacks and self-doubt

If you create goals with confidence, but sometimes suffer from self-doubt, realize that it’s a sign that you’re on the right track, not the wrong one.

Because if your aspirations don’t push you beyond your comfort zone, you’re not aiming high enough.

The most worthwhile goals in your life will be mountains, not molehills. They will not only force you to face challenges you expect, they’ll force you overcome obstacles you couldn’t anticipate when you started.

It’s not the challenges we expect on a journey that force us to face self-doubt as much as it’s those we never see coming. Learn to expect the unexpected and don’t be deterred by it.

Whenever self-doubt strikes on your journey, remind yourself why you started and focus not on how far you are from your goal, but instead on how far you’ve come.

Focus on your progress and your victories, no matter how small. Focus on the knowledge you’ve gained on your journey and all the new insights you can convert into wisdom.

Accept setbacks and self-doubt as part of your journey and refuse to let them deter you from the greatness you know is within you.

Remember that you didn’t pick your goals because you knew they would be easy, you picked them knowing they were hard but worthwhile.

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