Search

Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Social Media casinos

The moment you begin liking or commenting on people’s posts on social media as an agreed-upon exchange of ‘value’ is the moment you are no longer being genuine. Once you start liking someone’s content without regard to whether you actually like it or not – because they’ve agreed to do the same for you – is the moment you become a servant to social media.

While everyone wants to feel like what they have to offer is of value, entering into agreements where you will engage with other people’s posts if they engage with yours means that the engagement is no longer prompted by the value something offers, but instead by the value you hope to get in exchange for your engagement.

Social media is already an unfair system – which is why people seek to find ways to outwit it – and, generally speaking, it’s foolish to think that changing your behavior to manipulate a system in your favor is something that hasn’t already been accounted for. Especially when social media is made up of millions of people just like you who are seeking ways benefit from it. With enough data, your response to your experience on social media becomes predictable.

Every action you perform on social media – and many that you perform on your phone or in your computer browser – are tracked and analyzed. And have been since you joined their system. This is not done for your benefit, but for theirs. Again, with enough data, your behavior becomes predictable – especially when collated with the data of millions (or billions) of other people.

Social media companies are like casinos, they exist to make money and the systems that allow them to do so are forever slanted in their favor. The more a company can manipulate people into changing their behavior, the more predictable people become and the more money a company can make.

If you’ve fallen into a pattern of changing your behavior on social media from what was once authentic & natural to something that is inauthentic & calculated in order to manipulate social media to work for you, understand that this behavior has already been accounted for and the only thing truly being manipulated is you.

Interview dating

When someone asks you questions and you answer them, that’s called an interview. Fine for trying to land a job, not so much fun or productive when it comes to dating. If you’re trying to show a lack of interest in the person who is trying to get to know you, simply answering questions and waiting for more is an excellent way to do this.

Applying yourself

People often demonstrate their suitability for a job by the amount of effort & enthusiasm they invest to get it.

If you put in a minimal amount of effort to get a job, expect a minimal amount of results.

Never underestimate the power of a well written cover letter. Your cover letter is one place where what you say and how you say it can make you to stand out more than applicants who have more experience or better qualifications. Because, it’s easier to train people to do a job than it is to train them to be passionate or enthusiastic about it.

Help stamp out rampant complaining.

The fact that you’ve probably never enjoyed listening to anyone else complain is a pretty solid sign that no one enjoys listening to you do it either.

Help stamp out rampant complaining.

Always focus on solutions and what is within your power to change.

Even just changing your message from, “This is a problem!” to “This is a problem and I want to fix it.” changes your tone, implies there is a real purpose for your message and invites a discussion for solutions.

Related:

Originally Published on: Aug 27, 2013 @ 13:23

The little lies we tell

If you have a problem with “Tell the truth, even if it hurts”, then know that what you’re essentially saying is that it’s okay for people to lie to you, as long as the lie appeals to your ego and sense of worth.

If you want to build a relationship based on false beliefs and miscommunication, then lying to a person because it makes them feel better — or makes you feel better about yourself — is an excellent way to accomplish this.

Not only is this not an open or honest way to communicate, it is one of the reasons why so many friendships and marriages fail. Because rather than truly address and resolve issues, friends or couples choose to cover them up with “little white lies.”

Originally published January 16, 2014

Silent support isn’t supportive

  • “I liked that shop, it’s too bad they closed.”
  • “That was a great website, I wonder why it went offline.”
  • “I really like that artist, I wonder why they don’t make art anymore.”

Silent support isn’t supportive.

Support can be anything from kind words & encouragement, positive feedback, to patronage & purchases. If you like or appreciate something, take the time to express it.

Related: