Attitude and approach Archives - Page 32 of 39

Ignored vs unnoticed

September 4, 2014 by Zero Dean

There is a huge difference between being ignored and simply going unheard or unnoticed.

This applies to real life communication, but is especially applicable to social media.

Unless you have an audience of considerable numbers that is eagerly waiting to read whatever it is you have to say, it is not a question of if one of your social offerings will go unnoticed, but when.

And when it does happen, it’s important to realize that the lack of response is not at all an accurate reflection of what your audience thinks. Because if they didn’t see it, they can’t have an opinion about it.

There may also be times that your social offering simply isn’t best suited for the people who actually see it. This matters less when you have a huge audience, because the chances are good that at least some sampling of the people who follow you will see and like what you have to offer.

But if you are dealing with a smaller following, not having your post or comment connect with the first wave of people who “see” it can greatly reduce any chance it has of “getting out of the gate”

The reason for this is because of how social media posts are typically distributed. Popular (more interactive) posts get more popular. The more something is liked, shared, or commented on, the more it gets distributed — which results in more people seeing it, liking it, or commenting on it.

But there will be times when your post or comment, as great as it is, never gets out of the gate because it didn’t connect with the few people who first saw it.

And that’s normal. So if you’ve ever posted something and thought you were being ignored, it’s more likely you were going unnoticed.

And the vast majority of times this happens in real-life social situations, it is also not because people are actively ignoring you. It is again, simply because whatever you have said, done, or offered has gone unnoticed.

And if this happens to you often, this would be a good time to watch How to speak so that people want to listen.

Related:

Your life story

August 17, 2014 by Zero Dean

“Today, I persevered.”
“Today, I tried something new.”
“Today, I learned a new skill.”
“Today, I made someone smile.”
“Today, I went outside my comfort zone.”
“Today, I encouraged someone.”
“Today, I showed appreciation & gratitude.”
“Today, I made progress toward my goals.”
“Today, I was a force for good.”
“Today, I loved everything about how I acted and how I lived.”

“Today, was a great day.”

Your life story is written by you — one day at a time. Make it worth telling.

Related:

Life is short.

August 11, 2014 by Zero Dean

Life is short.

Have a purpose. Set goals. Complete as many as possible.

Live with intention. Don’t waste your time caught up in things that don’t matter. But take time to smell the flowers or stare up at the sky and marvel in wonder.

Live with integrity. Set the example you’d like to see.

Connect with those things that fuel your passions.

Stray from your comfort zone now and again. Try new things. Stretch yourself.

Find someone or something you can be good for.

Wear your invisible cape.

Every day.

Even on Mondays.

Theme(s):

Missions

Related:

Resistance isn’t futile

September 29, 2020August 1, 2014 by Zero Dean

All one has to do is open a magazine, turn on the TV, or browse the Internet to see that we’re constantly bombarded with marketing that tells us we need to have, or wear, or drink, or be something in order to fit in.

The message is repeated so much and so often that some people actually believe it. And not only do they believe it, they use it as a guide to judge others.

It should be obvious that the kind of car someone drives to get from point A to point B is a ridiculous thing to judge someone for. But many are guilty of doing so.

But that’s not all.

You’ve got to wear the right clothes, go to the right school, root for the right sports team, drink the right liquids, listen to the right music, play the right games, make a certain amount of money, and watch the right TV shows.

If you don’t, then you are somehow deemed to be lacking in some way. People fear being mocked or ridiculed, so they fall in line. They buy THE right brand — or follow the crowd.

A crowd of people who now constantly compare themselves to others to make sure they “fit in” and judge those who don’t meet their expectations of what they need to have, or be, or do to be accepted.

What’s the point of fitting in if it means by doing so, you become someone who judges those who don’t do, say, have, or like all the same things you do?

Is that a healthy way to look at the world?

Life is hard enough without people advocating an “us vs them” lifestyle.

“I could never see myself being friends with someone who roots for [national sports team].”

Wow.

Do you actually believe the world would be a better place if we all bought or liked or supported the same things?

I hope not.

If a person is a good person, contributes to society when and where they can, and is a positive force in the world, absolutely none of this superficial stuff matters.

“Dude, come on. That’s a girly drink.”

You don’t want to be someone’s friend because they like something you don’t?

“OMG. Look at their hair.”

You think someone is “weird” because they have a strong enough sense of self that it allows them to express who they are in a way that isn’t the same as everyone else?

“What a bunch of geeks.”

You think something people like is weird because you can’t be bothered to find why some people find it so appealing?

You think anyone who has a different view or opinion is the enemy?

I’m just asking questions.

I’d like to believe we live in a world where people are actually far more tolerant, open-minded, and accepting than they sometimes appear to be.

Especially on social media.

Other people, especially those who don’t see the world in the same way that we do, have a tremendous amount to teach us if we can just keep our minds open long enough to learn it.

“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” — Pema Chodron

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about making progress.

Remember, how we judge others is how we judge ourselves.

Related:

The influence of you.

July 29, 2014 by Zero Dean

The power of your influence nearly always appears smaller than it actually is.

Just because people don’t always appear to register whatever message you have to share doesn’t mean you should give up sharing it.

If it’s important to you, and your goal in drawing attention to something is for the greater good, then continue to find positive ways to spread that message, regardless of who you think is getting it.

As human beings, we have done some incredibly stupid and harmful things — to each other, the planet, and other lifeforms on it — simply because everyone else was doing it (so it must be ok).

Hivemind and group social dynamics are very powerful and can actively work against sound logic.

So even if your message it is backed by overwhelming evidence, if it is contrary to popular belief means it will most likely be rejected before it is accepted. In fact, a study by Cornell University found that that people are actually biased against creative ideas (and “creative” can basically apply to anything that isn’t considered standard).

So whatever cause you believe in, if it isn’t already popular, prepare for a struggle to be heard.

But also know that there are always those who are open to hearing your message, even if they don’t fully agree with it (and that’s ok), or live by it.

For example, you don’t have to advocate vegetarianism to still be concerned about how damaging the production of beef is to the environment.

As long as you are not being disrespectful or advocating harm to others, those who are at least peripherally aware of your cause may eventually come to realize the value — or at least some of the value — in what you have to share.

And that’s a start.

You can’t change the entire world at once, but you can influence those you come in contact with by spreading your message in a positive way and setting a good example to follow.

But whatever you do, causing intentional harm to others should never be an option.

If your values and the content of your message ring true, they will speak more powerfully than force ever will.

I’ve said it before, “Anger and hate dig holes. Love and kindness move mountains. Choose your motivation wisely.”

Related:

the-influence-of-you-zero-dean

“I can’t do that.”

December 28, 2020July 28, 2014 by Zero Dean

“I can’t do that.”

“I can’t even draw a stick figure.”
“I can’t even stand on a skateboard.”
“I can’t play a tune.”
“I can’t type that fast.”
“I can’t…”

Really? Well I have some questions for you:

How often have you really tried?
How much have you educated yourself about that particular thing you “can’t” do?
How much training did you get?
How much practice have you put in?
Did you make doing whatever it is a priority in your life or were you just expecting to miraculously wake up one day with this new ability?

Because, while it is true some people are more naturally talented at some things than others, most people who are good enough at something for you to notice how good they are at that thing have put in countless hours practicing that thing.

So is it really any surprise that you’re not as good at something as someone who has trained themselves to do something is?

Be very wary of the limitations you place on yourself. Repeatedly telling yourself that you can’t do something, will eventually make it true, simply because you convince yourself to never try.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” — Henry Ford

And let’s be frank, perhaps with countless hours of training, you still won’t be as good at something as you want to be — we all have our own areas of difficulty (as well as excellence) — but you will certainly be better than you were when you started. And you will likely have learned something valuable in the process.

You rarely get better at anything without experience. And that also means countless failures.

So don’t say you can’t do it if you haven’t made repeated attempts and failed.

Don’t say you can’t do it if you’ve barely ever even tried.

As a wise person once said, success is 99% failure.

You’ll never do great things unless you make the effort and try.

Related:

i-cant-do-that-zero-dean

Someone should do something

July 16, 2014 by Zero Dean

If you’ve ever thought:

“Someone should do something!”

Remember: You’re someone.

You may not be able to do everything, but you can always do something.

Don’t let what you can’t do stand in the way of what you can do.

Related:

Skip and volume control

June 10, 2014 by Zero Dean

If you’ve ever listened to a song and turned it up because you enjoyed hearing it so much, know that you essentially have (and use) this ability to the experiences that happen in your life.

Your attention is your “volume control”. Whatever you focus on gets louder.

So when something comes on that you don’t like, do you turn it up? No. You skip it.

And this is what you can do with those tired, old, negative thoughts in your head. You skip them.

And you keep skipping until you can settle on something worth listening to — and hopefully, worth turning up.

Skip and volume control. Use as needed.

Related:

Life is not a competition

April 30, 2014 by Zero Dean

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” — Earl Nightingale

Never give up on what you desire in life just because someone else appears to have an easier time getting what they desire or is making progress more quickly than you are.

Remind yourself as necessary that life is not a competition and that some people will always make progress more quickly than others. That’s life.

But your life, your circumstances, and your goals are your own. Don’t let the simple fact that others are working on and achieving their goals deter you from working on and achieving your own.

Always remember that every little step you take towards a goal — no matter how small — is progress.

Related:

Parachutes

November 27, 2019April 29, 2014 by Zero Dean

I’ve said it before, if all I do is write posts that simply make people nod yes, then I’m not really doing much to make people think or change the way they look at things.

“It is just that we should be grateful, not only to those with whose views we may agree, but also to those who have expressed more superficial views; for these also contributed something, by developing before us the powers of thought.” — Aristotle

It is those things that make us pause and evaluate how we feel about them — whether we agree or disagree or just want to think about in more depth over time — that really make a difference in our lives.

If we aren’t challenged by something, we aren’t changed by it.

You can see a million of these motivational quotes and pins go by and quickly think “yup!”, but do they really do anything but reassure you of what you already think, feel, or know about something?

“There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.” — Michel de Montaigne

It’s the posts that make you go, “Wait. I’m not sure I agree.” or “I hadn’t thought about it like that before.” that really help make changes in your life or your way of thinking.

I should also once again point out that we don’t have to agree on something to get along.

And, if done respectfully, I like to be challenged because it helps me see things from another perspective. I may even update something I wrote to reflect new insights.

“I don’t like to talk much with people who always agree with me. It is amusing to coquette with an echo for a little while, but one soon tires of it.” — Thomas Carlyle

What I write doesn’t always apply to every situation or scenario. And it can’t possibly reflect things I haven’t thought about before.

“Things that I felt absolutely sure of but a few years ago, I do not believe now. This thought makes me see more clearly how foolish it would be to expect all men to agree with me.” — Jim Rohn

That’s where being open to other perspective helps.

“One who is too insistent on his own views, finds few to agree with him.” — Lao Tzu

If all you do is surround yourself with people and things that reflect your views 100%, and you have no tolerance for those who think or act differently, it gives you a distorted view of the world.

“If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary” — Winston Churchill

“Minds are like parachutes they only function when open.”

“You know how advice is. You only want it if it agrees with what you wanted to do anyway.” — John Steinbeck

Related:

+ More