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Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours.

Zero Dean

Author | Photographer | CG Artist | Filmmaker

Attitude and approach

The process of becoming who we are

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There are some memes making their way across social networks these days claiming that, “People don’t change.”

Obviously, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Every experience we have provides us with information that either reaffirms something we already believe, alters a belief we already have, or creates a completely new belief.

Whenever a person’s belief changes or they acquire a new belief, the person the new or altered belief changes.

If you’ve ever thought “Well, I’m not going to do that again!” or “Well, that didn’t work. I guess I’ll try it a different way next time”, it’s proof that you’ve grown. And growth is change.

If you want to expedite the process of personal growth, then give yourself and others the freedom to change.

Be a person who believes in the possibility of positive change because it is often the belief in something that creates the possibility.

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Life happens.

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Life happens.

Sometimes it’s good.
Sometimes it’s bad.

And sometimes it dumps a pile of shit in your path.

What matters is not whether it’s fair (it often isn’t).
What matters is how one chooses to deal with it.

We can spend time complaining.
We can spend time pointing the finger.
We can spend time blaming others for the situations we find ourselves in.
And we can learn to identify as a victim of the unfairness of life.

Or we can take personal responsibility for our lives and use our ability to seek out more favorable options (including how to cope) and move on.

Every single person on the planet is forced to deal with hardship and misfortune at one time or another.

Sometimes it’s because we make bad decisions.
Sometimes it’s because we tolerate things far longer than we should.
Sometimes it’s because we’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And sometimes we are simply thrust into things we don’t want to be a part of.

But that’s life.
It happens to everyone at one time or another.

You don’t improve your life by complaining about the one you have.
You don’t improve your life by refusing to take personal responsibility for it.

You improve your life by taking steps to change it for the better.

It can be a lot of work — and it may require some sacrifices — but taking personal responsibility for one’s life and taking steps to change it is far more effective than staying where one is, doing nothing, and complaining about the view.

The fact is, our lives are a direct reflection of our priorities.

Want to be healthier? Focus on your health.
Want to be smarter? Focus on your education.
Want to be a better person? Focus on self-improvement.
Want to be more resilient? Challenge yourself.
Want to get over your fears? Face them.

If we don’t like where we are in life, we can change that. But complaining about it won’t do it. And blaming others won’t do it either.

Want a better life? Work for it.

Change your priorities and you change your life.

No one else is going to do it for you.

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

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Supergood Sunday

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Just imagine if once a year the media, retailers, and the general public devoted as much time, money, energy, and resources to doing something positive & productive as they do hyping and discussing two teams comprised of multi-millionaires trying to get a ball from one side of a field to the other.

A day highlighting the individuals and companies making a positive difference.
A day spotlighting positive role models.
A day giving visibility to good causes.
A day encouraging people to be good to each other and the world at large.
A day educating people on what they can do to enhance their lives and the lives around them in meaningful ways.
A day focusing on friendship-making and tolerance instead of an “us vs. them” mentality or fear mongering.
A day that leaves a long-lasting positive impact.

Supergood Sunday.

Caring, appreciation, and gratitude

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The primary message you communicate when you act like you don’t care is that you don’t care.

If you care about something, appreciate it, or are grateful for it, be sure your actions consistently communicate these sentiments.

You may think something, but until you convert a thought into an action, it’s just potential energy.

Remember to reinforce your positive thoughts and feelings with your actions and not solely express yourself through words.

Anyone can say anything. You reinforce the truth in your words when your actions are consistently congruent with not only what you say, but how, where, and when you choose to act.

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“I wish I knew then what I know now”

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“I wish I knew a year ago what I know now.”

You will never know today what it will take life experience over the next year to learn, but you can always increase the rate at which you learn things by getting out of your comfort zone, trying new things, and growing from the process.

Every new experience you have, every mistake you make, and every challenge you face will provide you with a valuable learning opportunity.

Every skill you develop as a result of these life experiences can then be used to deal with and overcome additional challenges you face.

If you want to be better prepared for what life has in store for you, never stop learning, never stop challenging yourself, never stop trying to broaden your perspective, and never stop exercising your body or your mind.

Like everything, they deteriorate from lack of use.

Take a direct and active role in what you learn in life and where you go as a result.

Wisdom, strength, power, and understanding don’t come from your comfort zone.

You have the awesome ability to upgrade your body and your mind at any moment.

It’s a shame to waste that by living a life wishing you knew then what you know now.

Life is meant to be a surprise.

Live, learn something new, and make a difference with it. Ad infinitum.

Related:

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The good, the bad, and the rude

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Don’t attribute to intentional rudeness what can easily be explained by a lack of self-awareness and social skills.

Some people are oblivious to some things or desensitized to others.

We don’t all perceive the world the same way. We don’t all use the same words or type of language when we communicate. We don’t all value the same things equally or have the same priorities. And we especially don’t have the same level of awareness.

Some people simply live in their own world and go about life fulfilling their own needs without regard to others. It isn’t intentional selfishness or self-centeredness as much as a lack of awareness as to how their actions affect others.

Children are often guilty of this because they don’t have enough life experience to know better. They don’t know what they haven’t had the opportunity to learn yet.

Some adults are the same way.

This is often demonstrated by people who stand in busy doorways, get in their cars and back up without looking, or play their own music or youtube videos in cafes and restaurants. They live in a world where other people don’t really exist.

Whether it’s the odd manner in which people deal with things — because it’s the only way they know how — or it’s spinach stuck to one’s teeth, people don’t know what they don’t know.

We are unfamiliar with things we have no direct experience with. We may have an idea that a “path” exists, for example, but don’t truly know the path until we’ve walked it for ourselves.

It takes a personal discovery and life experience to raise one’s level of awareness.

When you treat someone who is rude to you with rudeness, they will often see you as the one who started it because people don’t see themselves as others do.

When you treat or greet people with hostility, expect hostility in return. This is not an effective way to resolve a conflict.

Try to give the people you cross paths with the benefit of the doubt. You don’t have to allow yourself to be treated poorly or abused, but there is a better way to deal with it than to answer rudeness with hostility.

Understanding where a large part of unintentional rudeness it comes from helps.

“Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things you believe, nor acts the way you would act. Remember this and you will go a long way in getting along with people.” — Arthur Forman

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Don’t fill in the blanks for things you don’t know the true answers to…

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Excerpt from: Filling in the blanks

Don’t fill in the blanks for things you don’t know the true answers to with negative things that you convince yourself are the truth.

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Positive thinking vs positive doing

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Note: My “confessions of the day” are part of an ongoing theme on my entertainment blog, but this one seems more appropriate over here.

Confession of the day:

I used to be more of a “positive thinking person”.

I fell victim to the repeated message of “The Secret” as much as anyone.

“Just believe in yourself! Know what you want is possible. The universe will bend to your will and deliver it. You just have to believe it to see it. Law of Attraction, baby!”

And while the main message is primarily a good one, it isn’t complete. It leads people to think that if all they do is surround themselves with vision boards or want something badly enough, they’ll get it.

A million or more starving children in the world would indicate otherwise. Wishing for food or wealth or good health doesn’t deliver it.

“I’m sorry kid, but you don’t get to eat today because you didn’t want food badly enough.”

Now I’m more of a “positive doing person”.

If you truly want something, you have to take action and work for it. Making a vision board isn’t the kind of work I’m talking about.

Wishful thinking doesn’t make things happen nearly as well as working for those things does.

Yes, stay positive. Believe in yourself. Know what you want. Believe you can get it.

But above all, take action and work for it.

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“But The Secret and vision boards and vividly imagining what you want works. You just don’t believe it enough. That’s why it doesn’t work for you.”

Playing the lottery also “works” for some people sometimes, too.

And taking your life savings and betting it all on black at the Roulette table has even better odds than that.

People sometimes get what they want and then assume the wrong reasons why they got it.

You can rely on chance and wishful thinking if you want. And it may appear to work for you.

But correlation does not imply causation.

In the end, it’s still the people who work for what they want that are more likely to get it than those who sit back and fantasize about it their entire lives.

Yes, make vision boards. Vividly imagine what you want. Surround yourself with positivity.

But also have a strategy, take action, and work for what you desire.

Don’t just dream about it.

Please see this comic. It perfectly illustrates what I’m saying:

“Shonda Rhimes, A Screenwriter’s Advice” by Zen Pencils.

See also:

Related:

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We are the human race

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Broaden your mind and your horizons. Get out of your comfort zone. Familiarize yourself with the unfamiliar. And go to places you’ve never been.

It’s a big world with a lot of history. We’re all just visiting for a short time.

Take some time to get to know the other guests that you share the planet with, regardless of how different from you that they may appear at first glance.

We are the human race.

We have more in common with the other people alive on this planet today than any other species that has ever existed since the dawn of time.

We inhabit a giant rock that sustains us as we rocket through the vast expanse of space at 67,000 miles per hour.

We were all born on this rock and we will all likely die here as well.

Our time is now. Today. Here on this planet. The third rock from the sun.

This moment and every moment that passes is gone.

Forever.

The future is guaranteed to no one.

Get to know your neighbors. Get to know your planet. Locally. Internationally.

Yes, it can be scary and the world can be a dangerous place at times, but so can a bathtub or the bottom stair in a dark basement.

And you may just find when you get out there that the world we live in isn’t always as frightening as the one portrayed on television. And that not everyone who doesn’t come from where you come from or believe what you believe is out to get you.

Most people wish to live in harmony here. Most people would rather make a friend than an enemy.

Some of the best experiences you haven’t yet had are out there. As are some of the best friends you’ve never met.

Friends that may look or sound nothing like you. Friends that may come from a different part of the world. Friends that may have a completely different background. Or friends that may root for the opposing team.

Be open to the possibilities.

Because your friends are waiting. And some of the best experiences of your life await you as well.

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