A magical question

Excerpt from: Is there anything I can do to help?

"Is there anything I can do to help?" is a magical question.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” is a magical question.

(Use it often to show you care.)

See also: Is there anything I can do to help (if so, contact me)

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Assclowns and bad news

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We give assclowns and bad news the most press and then wonder why there is so much bad news and so many assclowns in the world.

Don’t support what you don’t want to see more of. Encourage what you do.

Lead by example.

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Productive boredom

Bored?

Think about a problem in the world and imagine ways to solve it.

That should keep you busy.

Don’t feel qualified?

Remember, conventional thinking doesn’t change the world, crazy ideas do.

Don’t waste your time telling the world that you’re bored. The world doesn’t care.

But if you tell the world the of the problems you’re trying to solve, you may just pique the interest of others who not only care enough about the problems to accept the invitation to help you, they might have crazy enough ideas to do it.

Related:

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If you’re amazing, show it

Reminder:

If you ever want someone to talk to, someone to help you work through something, or simply someone to bounce ideas off of, I’m here.

I don’t believe in shouting superficial things to strangers, like, “You’re beautiful!” or “You’re amazing!” or “It’s going to be ok.”

But I do believe in providing a meaningful & sincere connection, encouragement, and a non-judgmental listening ear to anyone who could really use one.

And if that’s something you can do for others, I highly recommend it.

Certainly much more than pretending that shouting “You’re awesome!” to complete strangers in exchange for likes is actually meaningful and helpful.

Superficial help provides superficial short-term relief.

Everyone loves to hear how beautiful or awesome they are. And it can provide a short-term relief, but it doesn’t provide long-term results.

People who actually want real help and have a desire for a real connection have a knack for seeing through insincerity and bullshit.

If you fish for likes by making shallow attempts to appear helpful, I challenge you to do better.

If you want to help people, help people. Don’t pretend you are by trying to collect likes in the process.

Lead by example.

I’ve said it before, the best coaches don’t tell you what you want to hear. They challenge you to do better and say what needs to be said. Whether you like exactly how they say it or not.

“If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you.”

I don’t write for likes, to appeal to the masses, or to connect with everyone. I write to make a difference with the few people that what I have to say truly connects with in a meaningful way.

Today it might be you. Tomorrow it might be someone else.

If you think I write stuff because I don’t care about people or I just want to piss people off, you are greatly mistaken. Quite the opposite, it’s because I care a great deal.

Related:

Dealing with mean people

Excerpt from: One less rhinoceros (intentions vs actions & dealing with mean people)

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One of the reasons that being mean to mean people isn’t terribly effective is that people learn most through personal experience or by observation of others.

Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is very unlikely to teach them anything new or show them that there’s a better way.

By being mean to a mean person, you’re simply showing them a behavior they’re already familiar with. All your negative actions do is demonstrate that you can stoop to their level. And now instead of just one person acting badly, there are two. And rather than solve the problem, it makes things worse.

Related:

Life is hard. And it isn’t fair

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Life is hard. And it isn’t fair. And it really hurts like hell sometimes. But if you focus on what is within your power to change for the better, you can. And you will.

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Superficial ego-boosting memes

Internet trolls are one of the reasons I don’t agree with superficial ego-boosting memes like:

“You’re perfect.”, “You’re awesome.”, “You’re beautiful just the way you are.”

Because the fact is, we’re all a work-in-progress and everyone has room for improvement.

Especially people who spend their time trying to make life difficult for others.

Memes like this may get a lot of likes on social media, but I don’t believe that blanket statements like “You’re beautiful” shared with complete strangers are sincere sentiments.

They’re simply superficial ego-boosters. They don’t help (and if they do “help”, they don’t help long).

It’s better and much more effective to tell people how you feel about them directly than it is to just spew compliments to the masses in hope for likes in return.

As for being beautiful, perfect, and awesome…

Related:

Refuse to quit

Excerpt from: Life isn’t fair.

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No matter what life throws your way, no matter how unfair it may seem, refuse to play the victim. Refuse to be ruled by fear, pessimism, and negativity. Refuse to quit.

Be a warrior and work through whatever challenges you face in life with courage, love, and positivity. And continually push forward.

Because you are a survivor of the unfairness of life. You are stronger than you think. And you are capable of achieving far more than you believe.

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Setbacks and self-doubt

If you create goals with confidence, but sometimes suffer from self-doubt, realize that it’s a sign that you’re on the right track, not the wrong one.

Because if your aspirations don’t push you beyond your comfort zone, you’re not aiming high enough.

The most worthwhile goals in your life will be mountains, not molehills. They will not only force you to face challenges you expect, they’ll force you overcome obstacles you couldn’t anticipate when you started.

It’s not the challenges we expect on a journey that force us to face self-doubt as much as it’s those we never see coming. Learn to expect the unexpected and don’t be deterred by it.

Whenever self-doubt strikes on your journey, remind yourself why you started and focus not on how far you are from your goal, but instead on how far you’ve come.

Focus on your progress and your victories, no matter how small. Focus on the knowledge you’ve gained on your journey and all the new insights you can convert into wisdom.

Accept setbacks and self-doubt as part of your journey and refuse to let them deter you from the greatness you know is within you.

Remember that you didn’t pick your goals because you knew they would be easy, you picked them knowing they were hard but worthwhile.

Related:

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