Don’t attribute to intentional rudeness what can easily be explained by a lack of self-awareness and social skills.
Some people are oblivious to some things or desensitized to others.
We don’t all perceive the world the same way. We don’t all use the same words or type of language when we communicate. We don’t all value the same things equally or have the same priorities. And we especially don’t have the same level of awareness.
Some people simply live in their own world and go about life fulfilling their own needs without regard to others. It isn’t intentional selfishness or self-centeredness as much as a lack of awareness as to how their actions affect others.
Children are often guilty of this because they don’t have enough life experience to know better. They don’t know what they haven’t had the opportunity to learn yet.
Some adults are the same way.
This is often demonstrated by people who stand in busy doorways, get in their cars and back up without looking, or play their own music or youtube videos in cafes and restaurants. They live in a world where other people don’t really exist.
Whether it’s the odd manner in which people deal with things — because it’s the only way they know how — or it’s spinach stuck to one’s teeth, people don’t know what they don’t know.
We are unfamiliar with things we have no direct experience with. We may have an idea that a “path” exists, for example, but don’t truly know the path until we’ve walked it for ourselves.
It takes a personal discovery and life experience to raise one’s level of awareness.
When you treat someone who is rude to you with rudeness, they will often see you as the one who started it because people don’t see themselves as others do.
When you treat or greet people with hostility, expect hostility in return. This is not an effective way to resolve a conflict.
Try to give the people you cross paths with the benefit of the doubt. You don’t have to allow yourself to be treated poorly or abused, but there is a better way to deal with it than to answer rudeness with hostility.
Understanding where a large part of unintentional rudeness it comes from helps.
“Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things you believe, nor acts the way you would act. Remember this and you will go a long way in getting along with people.” — Arthur Forman
Related:
- Dealing with mean people
- One less idiot
- One less rhinoceros (intentions vs actions & dealing with mean people)
- Break the chain
- Energy flows where attention goes.
- Anger and hate dig holes. Love and kindness move mountains.
- Influence by example
- Matters of miscommunication
- The justification of everything
- We are the human race
- Offsite: ‘Not everyone thinks the way you think’
- You don’t know what you don’t know.
