October 24, 2011 - Zero Dean

People will make observations about you based on their own level of understanding. What complicates matters more is that people are hard-wired to judge quickly (it used to be a matter of survival) — and often do so using faulty stereotypes based on their own interpretation of life experiences.

Knowing how faulty the system can be, we should know that what others say or think about us isn’t always true — and yet we often give these things more consideration than they deserve.

In fact, there’s is a good chance that there are people in your life that you allow what they think (about you) to control — to some degree — how you feel about yourself or how you act in their presence (rather than just “being yourself”).

It is a fact that no two individuals interpret an experience in exactly the same way. Any number of people can watch an event take place and none of them will share exactly the same story with exactly the same details about what they saw or felt.

What each of us experiences in life is only an interpretation — our interpretation.

Have you ever witnessed something that didn’t turn out to be what you thought it was? Now imagine that you never realized that it wasn’t what you thought it was. You’d be believing a distortion of reality, but to you it was absolutely true.

No one person can see the world through another person’s eyes or experience the world through another person’s body.

The point is:

You are not what other people say about you. And you are not other people’s opinions of you unless you choose to accept them. You don’t have to let the stories that other people tell about you become your own.

It’s your life and you can choose to write your life story any way you wish, but to do so, you must make the decision to not to let other people write your story for you.

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”

Remember, we teach the people in our lives how to treat us by how we act and what we are willing to allow. As such, it is important to set your own personal boundaries and not let others do it for you.

Who we are today is a result of all the decisions we’ve ever made in life. Whatever we wish to be in the future depends on our present actions. To become who you wish to be, simply determine how that person would act and then, little by little, act like that person.

You are who you choose to be.

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Extraordinary doesn’t just happen. If you want something “spectacular” or “extraordinary” — you either have to make it happen, go out and get it, or let it into your life when it knocks on the door. If it feels the same and looks the same as everything else, it’s not extraordinary.

So before you go slamming the door on it, take some time to make sure it truly isn’t what you are seeking. “Different” does not equal “bad” — be smart, but open to the unfamiliar.

Only change leads to progress. And change means different.

“Every really new idea looks crazy at first.” — Alfred North Whitehead

Everything we have is a result of someone who thought differently — and anyone who thought differently and pursued an unusual idea was first considered crazy or strange because of it.

And many of the best ideas were first resisted and protested.

It’s only after different thinking people have succeeded that they are considered “geniuses” or revolutionary. So maybe that “weirdo”, original thinker, or person who dances to a different beat should be celebrated instead of feared.

So hey — if you want something different in your life — a more fulfilling job or relationship, let me encourage you to do yourself a favor and stop slamming the door on things that are different than what you’re used to.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”

We often fear change — but change is the only thing that leads to progress. Why not try something different and experience the full expanse of what life has to offer?

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