One of the underlying motivations for my journey was that I wanted to make myself more visible to my “fashionably late mate”. I knew it would be difficult — and most definitely pose a number of challenges — but I decided to try online dating while traveling. I’m a romantic at heart and figured that despite the odds, I couldn’t “win” if I didn’t play. I’d rather try and fail than fail to try.
I also figured it would make an amazing addition to my life story if it worked out:
“Man quits job, terminates lease, sells everything.
Embarks on adventure of a lifetime.
Meets woman of his dreams!”
500+ days and it hasn’t exactly worked out that way…yet.
For one, online dating is difficult when you hold a good job with a steady income, live in a stable location, and are basically surrounded by things that are familiar to you. All of these things bring you comfort. Dating only gets more difficult the fewer of those things you actually have.
And there’s an art to writing a dating profile — which most women won’t even read if you don’t pass the “photo stereotyping test”. First you have to be attractive enough to get their attention — then you have to make sure your photos don’t inadvertently say the wrong things about you.
If you pass the photo test, it’s up to your profile to say just enough of the right things about you to compel that person to want to get in touch with you — without saying anything that turns them off.
But then, there are things people should know — for example, if you’re a guy traveling the country, I think you should share that information. But wow — that’s a pretty big obstacle to overcome. For one thing, there’s only so much you can “explain” in a dating profile before you start losing people. Explanations are boring — and in the online dating world, if you sound boring, you probably are boring (even if that’s not even close to the truth).
If there’s anything I’ve gathered from browsing profiles, it’s this:
Women want stability. They want someone ambitious. A man with a good job and source of income. Someone “practical” that they can count on…
Now think about explaining what I’m doing in an online dating profile (here are mine).
There’s really no easy (and entertaining) way to explain that I have a pretty solid work ethic. That I paid off my debts and saved up enough money to do what I’m doing — and that I made it last for so long (ie. I’m “fiscally responsible”).
And the other things that I seen women say they want or how they live — it’s not always true…
Many say they love “adventure” — but when real adventure knocks on the door, they (most often) don’t even answer. A 3 day weekend in Las Vegas with friends is an “adventure”. A cruise to the Caribbean is an “adventure”. But doing anything that involves calculated risk or a bit of discomfort — that’s not an “adventure”, that’s just crazy! 
Ok — I’m generalizing a bit, but that has been my experience.
And I get it — it’s the “better to be safe than sorry” mentality — but living life to the fullest is about calculated risk. And it’s about having an open mind and living beyond your comfort zone.
So despite the fact that it’s not terribly difficult to look into what I’m doing to discover I’m genuine, it’s kind of a huge hurdle in the online dating world.
I mean for one thing, I’ve been pouring out my heart and soul online for over 500 days. And just doing a search for “Zero Dean” will lead to a whole section devoted to testimonials from women I’ve worked with. I can’t be all THAT bad, can I?
